Rescuing Atticus

He really does care

Song: Send the pain below- Chevelle

Zane...he always knew where I was at all times. Even if I had no clue because I was too far gone...he knew. I should have known that he would fine me. I look up and see him glaring down at me. I know that I fucked up and there will be a price to pay. I had told myself months ago that I would never end up like I did the last time but here I am all over again. I can never get anything right. Deep inside I know that I will always be a fuck-up.

"Yes sir...I will get him home safely...sorry for all of this." He tells the officer as he is shaking his hand and since they know each other he lets Zane take me home instead of spending a night in jail.

A part of me would rather spend the night in jail. I try hard to avoid making eye contact with him as I get in the passenger side of the truck while he gets behind the wheel. Ashton takes the car, that the two of them came in. Zane is super quite all the way home. I hate when he gets this quite because I know he is forming something in his head...my punishment. My mind keeps wondering off to what in the hell will he come up with.

When he pulls up, I go to open the door and grab onto the door as I fall out on my ass. I don't feel much of the pain at all; my body is numb from everything. He walks around the truck and shakes his head. "Get your ass up." He growls. He is so pissed off right now and by the tone he just gave reminded me of a father getting on to his grown ass son.

 I force myself up on shaky legs. I have to use the side of the truck to hold myself up. I follow him into the house swaying this way and that, tripping over my feet a few times. Thankfully the wall holds me up a few times. He walks into the workout room and I know it is coming, so I follow him and take my punishment. I take off my shoes by kicking them off with one foot and then the other. I was surprised that I didn't fall on my face right then. I walk onto the mat and fall to my knees. I don't know what to say to him. "I fucked up...I know...I'm sorry...I'm so fucking sorry."

He doesn't give a shit about what I have to say at the moment. "Atticus...do you realize what could have happened. You just don't get fucking wasted and think you can drive...hell you could have killed someone...yourself...come on dammit. I taught you better than that."

"My mom just died...alright. So I had too much to drink...and..." He cuts me off not giving me anytime to explain.

"You're mom fucking left you a long time ago...don't you remember. Get that through that fucking head of yours." He slaps the side of my head. "She stopped caring for you why do you keep pretending that she fucking cared."

I know he is right. I keep putting up a front...keep pretending that she loved me. Even in the bitter end she was asking about him. I don't move until he tells me to stand up. Once I do, he punches me in the gut. I feel the bile rise in my throat and I don't dare spit it out...I gulp in back down. "I taught you better...I trained you to be stronger than this and you are still weak. You care too fucking much for people and need to learn that no one will ever give a rats ass about you." He hits me again in the side and I fall to the floor. "Get up." He orders.

I force myself up only to be knocked right back down. I let him beat the shit out of me until I black out only because when he said no one gave a rats ass about me...that was a lie. He fucking cared. He cared about me and he was the only one in this world that did. He was the father that I never had. Yes he beat the shit out of me when I messed up but he was only teaching me a lesson...he fucking cared. So I will let him punish me the way that he wants to...because he actually cares what happens to me in the end.

When I come to, I am hanging in the middle of the mat with my feet barely touching the floor. My arms are raised above my head and they feel numb from being there for so long. It makes me wonder how long have I been strung up like this...an hour maybe two or more.  I can barely hold my head up and the lights above me are stinging my eyes. I try to look around to see if he is anywhere but he is not.

 A few hours later he comes into the room and uses me as a punching bag. I lose count how many times that he hits me. I know he is trying to toughen me up. I know that I am weak and he will show me otherwise. He will make me stronger one way or another. I take every single punch to heart...

"Are you done...I told you that I would punish you and I will each time that you fuck up so I would suggest that you stop this shit not unless you just like being punished."I don't answer him quick enough so he hits me again square in the chest knocking the breath out of me. "Atticus...do you want more or are you done?"

A part of me wanted more. It's so hard to explain that I needed the pain. The pain made me feel alive. It made me feel for once and I needed to feel the pain. I needed to feel...the alcohol made me just feel numb like I wasn't even there...this...this is what I needed. So I let him hit me several more time before coughing up blood. I refused to tell him to stop...refused to tell him that I had enough. Hell if he wanted to he could have killed me and I still wouldn't have stopped him.

 When he had enough of beating the shit out of me he reaches up and releases me. My body falls hard to the mat and I just lay there holding my sides as they rip in pain. My arms throb back to life; the numbness starts to tingle and I finally get the feeling back and I feel...I feel every little inch inside of me. My body aches all over as I lay there curled up. I know that once he left the room that he would not come back in after me.

So when I hear someone walking in the room, I know it's either one of the guys or the help. As I hear the steps come closer to me, whoever it is throws a wet towel at me. "Are you ever going to learn man?"

I glance up to see Marcus looking down at me. He just shakes his head in disbelief. I take the towel and wipe off my face only to smear the blood even more."Sorry to hear about your mom." He walks back across the room to put up a few of the equipment that was down. He starts to wipe everything down to get ready for the next workout.

I just nod my head feeling a little grateful that he cares. I don't say anything mainly because I just don't know what to say. I push myself up and stand on my own two feet. I have to take a breath a few times and every time I move I feel like my insides are ripping inside. I grunt under my breath hoping no one really hears me. I make my way out of the room and out to my room.

 I walk to the bathroom and turn on the shower. While the water is heating up, I glance at myself in the mirror. I have a huge black bruise on my lower right jaw. There is smeared dried blood coming from my nose and my lip. I have several bruises all along my chest, stomach and sides. The whole middle section is black and blue. I'm not sure where one ends and one begins, the colors mix so well. As I slide into the shower the hot water feels so good against my skin and I groan out.

 I make myself get dressed then head to the garage to look at the damage to the truck. The front headlight is broken and there is a dent in the bumper. The paint is chipped in a spot but other than that the truck is fine.  He was right, I could have killed someone...I could have died from being so stupid to drive in the state that I was in.