Rescuing Atticus

Feeling like a puppet

Song: High for this- The weeknd

I move on with my life. I live the only way that I know how...by listening and following Zane's orders. There are many days that I feel like a puppet. I never give smack...l never go against him. I do everything that I am told and sometimes do things before he even has to ask. I drink on some night and party with the guys on other nights. Sometimes too much partying and I start a new thing...getting high.

I did my first line with Kwan. He kept telling me that it was the best feeling ever and that I need to at least try it. I watched as he empties a small packet of powder onto a mirror and then he takes one of those tiny coffee straws. He leans in and holds one side of his nose while placing the straw in the other nostril and sniffs up the shit. He makes another line and holds the mirror and straw out for me to take. I do...like a freaking puppet.

I don't know why I always do what everyone else wants me to do but I do. Kwan and his cousins treat me like I am one of them and if feels good to have that feeling...to belong, not that I don't get that from Zane...this is a little something more that I need. Kwan was two years older than me and just got out of basic training. He was only home for a little while before being stationed somewhere. So while he is home he wants to make the best out of it and party hard...fuck hard and get fucked up taking me right along with him.

 He loved the fact that I could walk in the strip joint and get any girl I wanted. One night we got to talking and he talked me into hiring some of the girls to come to his place. Three girls show up and me and the guys sit back on the couch and watch them turn on the music and start giving us a private little dance. They slowly strip out of their clothes like its nothing. Of course the guys are cheering it on and one thing leads to another and before you know it every guy wants a turn with them.

 We are all drinking and sniffing the powdery shit...making a mess all over the place. The dark headed girl keeps trying to get back up off the couch and I watch as Kwan whispers in her ear and then holds up a drink for her. "Here...calm down baby...take a drink."

I should say something but I don't.

She looks at the glass and then back at him. With trembling hands she takes a sip and he holds the glass all the way up for her to drink all of it. Then he takes the glass and places it on the side table. He has her sit on the couch between the two of us as he watches one of his buddies pick up the little blonde and takes her to the back room. They all start yelling again. "Yes...I'm next man...I'm next."

The cute girl laying right beside me looks so nervous about what is all going on. I reach over and grab some of the fine powder and hold it up to her on a mirror. She shakes her head no. "I can't do that."

"I think you should at least try it...you want to be high for this shit. These guys play a little rough."

"I...I don't think I want to do this."

"It will be better this way, just escape to another place."

I'm a little surprised that she reaches over and takes the straw form me and sniffs up the powder like it is nothing. She falls back against the couch and zones out. I ignore her as the other blonde starts to dance.

She gleams ear to ear and I know she has had way too much to drink already but she is flashing her nice teeth and in seconds she is going down on Joey. He holds her head down and takes control of her head making her go up and down and nearly gagging the shit out of her. She pushes herself back up to get air and he pushes her back down. Kwan reaches over and smacks her hard on the ass. She stops and looks over at him and doesn't hesitate to crawl over on her knees to him. He whips it out like it is nothing...and he is already hard for her. She just smiles and takes it, wrapping her mouth around his shaft.