My story

The end of sophmore year

Well, throughout sophomore year I met lots of new people, and met lots of new situations.

By the end of it, I had a boyfriend. Let's call him L.
I met this boy through mutual friends, and I'll admit, honestly at first I didn't like him.

Well... I didn't like new people in general.

It was apart of the whole 'angry edgy teenager' thing I had going. I had that really strong persona.
Being dark, rebellious, bitchy, sarcastic, antisocial.

And yeah, part of it was a defense mechanism.
Putting up this partial front so I could be taken seriously, be seen, and be intimidating.
Not to be taken advantage of.
Put up this front that I'm tough, that nothing could break me, that I'm stronger than I actually was.

But the other part of me had a genuine liking for the me I portrayed. Because inside I felt like a coward, and this picture of me I put out there wasn't this scared little girl I really was.
Yes, I naturally have this edge to me. I just learned to emphasize it to the point where it was all I was seen as.

Anyways, back to L.
He was a friend of a friend.
Just a boy who would hang out with us that I would avoid.
He had bright colored hair and was a bit loud.
He was observant and I was oblivious.

One day he played a song by Billy Idol.
And I swear my head has never turned around so fast.
I looked at him, and approached him to ask him about the music he was playing.
And that's how I ended up talking to him, like actually talk to him.
We got along right away.
And next thing I know, I liked the boy.
And I guess he liked me too.

So like most high school kids, we started dating because, well the feelings were there.
So why not?
And everything was nice in the start.
I was happy to be with someone.

But now, here's where everything comes out.
The blunt truth, the honesty, and what was really going through my mind during and after it all.

And you know what, I own up to what I'm going confess.
I own up to my mistakes and the things that I maybe could've handled better.

I already know, that I hurt someone at the time I cared for a lot.
And I will never forgive myself for hurting him, but I think the downfall to all couples, is miscommunication.
And that's exactly what happened to us.
And we were both too immature to know how to deal with something like that.

So, this next piece is for you, L.