Paralyzed✅

• T e n •

Alex's P.O.V

"So what's the sudden kindness?" I ask as we wait for our meal.

"It's an apology...?" She tries.

"Sophie, I'm getting aggravated here."

"Whatever happened between us, was a mistake. It never should've happened, and it should never happen again. I'm sorry," She got the food she ordered, that I hadn't even notice arrive, and left.

Run after her, stupid.

No, you shouldn't run to her. It'll make you look like a fool.

And a fool was something I'm not.

Mom's name appeared on my phone as I was busy devouring my Big Mac.

I licked them clean then wiped them on the napkin as I answered the phone.

"Hello?" I called out first.

"Hey, sweetheart, where are you? It's getting kind of late." Mom's voice echoed through the phone.

"I'm at McDonald's I'll be back in a little."

"Hey, mom." I waited for her to respond.

"Yeah?"

"Umm, could you wait up for me?"

"I'll always wait up for you, baby. Get home safe, okay?"

"Okay momma." I smiled.

I finished up and went up in line to order a medium fries with a vanilla ice cream. Because she loves dipping the fries in her ice cream.

I paid and went back to the car. Driving around I spotted a couple making out by the lake. Feelings inside me erupted. 

Was I not good enough? 

Was I annoying? Clingy? Persistent? 

What was it that made people leave? And not love me. 

I just wanted these questions running in my mind answered. I want to feel good about myself again. 

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I parked the car in the driveway and collected the food, and walked out. 

Knocking on the door lightly to not wake anyone up, I waited until mom came out and finally opened the door. 

"Hey, sweetie," Mom whispered. 

"Hey, mom, I got you ice cream and fries." I said as I handed her the food. 

Her eyes widened with happiness and appreciation. 

She quickly snatched the pack of fries and ice cream devoured as much as she can, on her way to sit on the couch. She patted the empty space next to her and indicated I come sit next to her. 

"What's wrong, honey?" She asks me. 

"Am I not good enough?" I asked her, looking down at the floor. 

"Baby, where is this coming from?" She asks as she begins to rub my shoulder. 

"Nowhere, I just, first I wasn't good with Amanda now I'm not good with Sophie, its like I'm not good for anyone and I'm just, here. I just want to be appreciated, I guess."  

"Oh, baby, people will always come and go in your life, no matter what you shouldn't put yourself down when you should be rising above. You are such an incredible young man, honey. Each person that leaves your life, leaves an important  message that will impact your life for the better." 

"Mom, could you tell me more about when you and dad were younger?" I ask, my hands intertwining, my back aching. 

"Well, sweetheart, your father feel into depression after being dumped by his girlfriend on their 9 month anniversary, umm we met in therapy, and well we've been in love since then. I wouldn't have it any other way, honestly. One man's loss, another one's gain. And well I was the one who gained. I gained an amazing man, who treats me with the upmost respect, he truly loves and cares for me, he's a great husband and father, a great son also, always looking out for them and taking care of them. I truly thank Mackenzie for letting him go. He's made me a lot happier. Well, I'm proud of him, he could've fallen deeper into his depression, but didn't he came out happier and healthier." She ranted, I thought she was never going to the end with the way she talks about him. 

"Damn, the saying is true. People in love are whipped." I smiled. 

"Hey, mom. Umm, what happens if I fall in love with someone and go through depression also. What would happen then?

"Well, honey, we'd make sure to send you to a rehab to get better," She answered immediately. 

"Oh, alright. Well, I love you, momma. Good night," I kissed her cheek and went to bed. 

After showering and brushing my teeth, I laid in bed, thinking about everything. I don't understand whats going on. I need someone to help me. 

But, my cries have gone silent. 

I can't have my parents go through this for a second time. 

I need to go through this alone.

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"When my feelings are really hurt I shut down and stay quiet because I know if I say something I'm going to mess someone up."

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Hi, loves! Umm, it's been a hectic couple of weeks. With the virus and everything. So, make sure to stay home and stay safe. I'm out of school for the next 3 weeks. Since this is my actual Spring Break I'll be writing a chapter for each of my books this week every day. I love you all, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! 

Xoxo-Zoey ❤