faking it | rini

nine

Nini had barely talked to Ricky since they had signed their contracts, sealing their fates from the start of filming until the end of promotion. It wasn't because she didn't want to, nor from a lack of trying, but the few times Ricky and her were in the same room, he avoided her gaze like the plague.

Which sucked, because Nini didn't have anyone to share this major part of her life. They had been required to send NDAs, not allowed to mention any of the fake dating plan to anyone, not even their friends. Their parents were the only one in on the secret and Nini suspected it was mostly because they were still underaged.

Nini loved her moms with all her heart and she knew without a doubt she could always find an ear to vent or complain in them. However, moms weren't the same as people her age, as her friends.

She had tried to create some kind of bond with Ricky. She had rationalized that if they were friends it would make everything better. Sure, lying would suck, but the dating part would feel like two friends hanging out more than actual dating. That could be tolerable.

But, unfortunately, she couldn't even share a complicit gaze with the only person who truly understood, the only one who would wholeheartedly listen and get it if she vented.

If she told him how she hated lying, he would understand. If she told him how she felt uncomfortable sharing to the public such a private part of her life she would normally probably hide, he would understand. If she told him how she hated the idea to be forever known as Ricky Bowen's ex girlfriend even if it wasn't true, he would understand. If she told him something completely wrong about her would forever become common knowledge, accepted facts, he would understand.

And yet, he avoided her, and Nini couldn't tell him anything.

Still, today, the stars seemed to align, and she could finally find a swift window of time to have a conversation with him. She was sure she had misread the situation. He was not avoiding her per say, simply focused on his own work. It was very responsable of him. She couldn't fault him for not sending her a look during an uncomfortable or unpleasant meeting, or lingering to talk with her when he surely had important things to do.

But, they had a photoshoot today, both of them arriving extra early. The hair and makeup people had passed through and done their work, the shared room now empty. Except for two teenagers, soon to be fake lovers.

Nini bit her lower lip, slightly chewing on the skin. She didn't know how to start a conversation, his body language clearly so cut off. He was turning a little from her, scrolling on his phone, his head low. "I hope this photoshop goes well. The first time I had one, I was so stiff the photographer named me Stick. It was my cousin. She was kind of mean. The nickname changed to Stix now. All my cousins call me that." Oh God she was rambling. Ricky hadn't even moved, his thumb still moving down his screen.

"Cool," he said, nonchalant and clearly no care whatsoever in her story.

Nini played with her fingers, "Yeah... Really cool." A silence floated around the room. Oh God, this was even worse than she imagined. She felt the desperate need to dig a whole and promptly bury herself in it, so deep and so tight in the dirt she would completely disappear from Earth and, hopefully, choke and die.

"So, this sucks. Can we talk about it? I really need to talk about it." Nini said quickly and a faint British accent resounded. "The fake dating, I mean. Not the nickname Stix. I don't care about that that much."

Ricky slowly looked up from his phone, threw her a dirty look, and looked back down. "There's nothing to talk about." Everything around her shattered and she couldn't exactly explain why.

She didn't move a finger, not one hair. She stayed perfectly still, wishing for the world to stop. "What," she murmured, "I thought... I thought you would get it."

"Oh, I get it." His tone was mocking and she didn't appreciate it. "I just don't want to talk about it with you."

That was a terrible answer and she hated it. "What, why?"

He sighed, shaking his head, "Forget it."

"I'm afraid I cannot!" She exclaimed, offended. Who did he think he was?

He sneered, "What? Miss Perfect can't handle someone not liking her?"

"How can you not like me if you don't even know me? I mean, if you bothered having like two conversations with me, maybe your opinion of me wouldn't be total ass." Nini was outraged. He didn't like her? What the fuck had she done to him?

He closed his phone and fully turned towards her, also enraged, "How can you bitch and moan about fake dating when this is your fault?"

"My fault?" Nini almost screamed. "I didn't want this!"

"You gave up. You said we were gonna fight but you said yes. We're in this because of you."

"They had powerpoints and charts and were going off on us! I was extremely overwhelmed." He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I was waiting for you to say something, you know?  You didn't say shit and now you want to blame me because after the most intense presentation and two minutes of silence I said okay? You should've said no yourself."

Ricky frowned and exclaimed, offended, "Are you trying to blame this on me?"

"No! You are trying to blame this on me, you dick!"

"Ooh, a swear word. Miss Perfect better wash her mouth."

Nini rolled her eyes, "This would've been way easier if you could suck it up and not be a jerk. Do you know how painful you just made an already bad situation?"

"Wow, again, who's blaming who now?"

"Me!" Nini was two seconds away from screaming and ripping her hair out, "I'm saying you're an asshole and I'm right!"

"And I'm saying you're a little perfect stuck up bitch and I'm right!"

"Oh, and what's your proof? Is it the time I didn't talk to you or this other time where you didn't talk to me? Oh wait, maybe it's the time where we didn't talk? That was pretty rough."

"It was our first meeting actually, when you tried way too hard and acted way too fake. I immediately knew I didn't like you and that I would never be friends with you. You only kept on proving that I was right."

Nini nodded sarcastically, "Oh, so it was the time you didn't talk to me then?" How could he say she was fake? How could he judge her so quickly when she had barely opened her mouth? God, he infuriated her so much. How dare he? "You're such a dick. You're the fake one. You're the one pretending to be nice and friendly when you're just a jackass."

"More insults. Very mature."

"Guess your vision of Miss Perfect wasn't right."

He shook his head, "Guess it further proves you're a liar, huh?"

"Would you shut the fuck up?" She screamed.

She actually screamed.

The entire fight, it had been so close, an inch away from screams and cries, but never really reaching. The loud noise resounded in the trailer, shocking them. They froze, stuck in time. Reality dawned on her, some sort of realization that all the words they had exchanged really had been said, all the weight they held had been let loose. Realization of what he thought of her. Realization of who he was. Realization of what she had said.

Breathing heavily, they stared at each other in silence, neutral, emotionless, slowly calming down. Unspoken thoughts roaring.

A soft knock came on the door, a call for the start of the photoshoot. Nini sported a fake smile, wider than the sun and brighter than the stars, "Well, isn't this gonna be fun, boyfriend?"