faking it | rini

thirty

posting earlier than planned because everyone is freaking out in my comments🥰

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"Hi," Ricky said as Nini slowly sat up, her brain still groggy and hurting. She looked up to where he was standing, leaning on the doorframe, a small smile on his lips. She supposed if everything around her didn't feel like an extension of her dreams, she probably would've jumped at his sudden greeting.

Yesterday was a bit of a blur. She remembered the intensity of it all, the laughing and screaming, the dancing and singing, the ambiant sounds so loud Nini could not hear herself think.

Mostly, she remembered spending the night beside Ricky, scotched to his side, touchy and needy. She remembered kissing him too. God, what had she done? She was an idiot.

As soon as the memory resurfaced, Nini blushed, avoiding his eyes. "Hi," she said shyly, almost a murmur.

She was in his bed, wearing a shirt that wasn't hers, playing with the grey covers awkwardly. Ricky didn't answer her but he walked in the room (his) and sat beside her.

"I'm sorry," Nini blurted because it felt right. It was true, too. She was unbelievably sorry. For ruining things, for making it weird, for kissing him. For liking it too, although she would never admit it.

He simply snorted, shaking his head, "You don't have to be."

"It was so embarrassing, though! I can't believe I did that."

"Hey," Ricky grabbed her hand, forcing her to look him in his eyes. "It's fine. You were pretty drunk. And if anything, we just sold our relationship more. PDA is great marketing."

Nini lowered her eyes, bitting her lip. Why wasn't this recomforting? Why didn't his words make her feel better? Why did they make her feel worse? "Yeah," her voice sounded strange to her ears.

Ricky frowned, looking worried. "Are you okay?"

Nini nodded, quickly shaking off her confusing thoughts, a wide grin spreading on her lips. It didn't reach her eyes. "Of course. I'm glad we're okay."

"Of course we're okay, Nini," he laughed, like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world. "You're one of my best friends. I've kissed Big Red before too. I know it doesn't mean anything."

It's when she heard those words that the world fell down around Nini and she understood. She understood why she was upset, understood why she had held his hand and hugged him as soon as her inhibitions were gone, understood why she had kissed him.

Nini liked Ricky.

It hit her like a tone of brick and she froze, unable to breath, eyes wide. This was the worst news that could ever exist. She kind of wanted to die.

"You're my best friend too," she murmured so that he wouldn't worry, wouldn't pry for explanations until words that were meant to stay buried in her forever came out. I wish you weren't.

Ricky gave her a boyish grin, filled with youthful excitement, jumping out of bed. "Perfect. Now that this is out of the way, wanna go out for breakfast?"

Nini was still dazed, everything feeling slower and faster around her. It was like she was out of place in the whole word, unsynchronized. "Yeah, sure. Let me just.... get ready."

Ricky nodded and walked away, closing the door behind her. She fell back down on the bed, groaning.

"Why must you do this to me, universe?"

via @ninisalzberts 's instagram

via @ninisalzberts 's instagram