Hearts

six

On the roof, I was above everything. There was peace. But Romeo had to ruin it by following me.

"Graham!"

I slowly turned myself to face the attic window.

"Hi. Go away."

"Please get down," Romeo said.

"Fuck off." I edged away from the window. "Leave me alone. You're good at doing that, remember?"

Romeo swung his legs up over the windowsill, and then he was standing on the roof too. He took steady steps toward me, and all I could do was glare helplessly. Every part of my body was screaming at me to jump before he reached me.

"What are you doing?" he asked. He was getting closer.

"Running away," I told him.

"Yeah, because you get so much mobility on the roof."

I frowned. "Can't do long words right now. Need to get out of my head."

I must have jumped. The surface disappeared from under my feet. And then I was lying down, trapped in Romeo's arms.

"You can't fall," he whispered. "I'm not ready for you to go."

"You haven't talked to me in ten million years," I reminded him.

"I wanted to," Romeo said. "I couldn't. By the time I was allowed to, I thought you'd be too mad to hear from me again."

I rolled my eyes. "What do you mean 'allowed to'? Does someone have to give you permission to talk to me?"

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Can you roll over a bit? My arm's falling asleep."

I shrugged. "Should've just let me jump.

Would've been good for everyone."

"You can't say that. People care about you."

"Not you, though," I pointed out. "People don't abandon people they care about."

"I'm sorry."

Whatever.

I shut my eyes. "I love you."

"You're wasted."

I ignored him. "I wish I told you that when we were friends. You wouldn't've said it back, though. You're heartless, and you don't know what love is. You can't tell when someone loves you so fucking much that it hurts to exist around you because you don't feel like that. It's okay. I forgive you because I still love you. If I had all the love in the world, it would go to you. I was never mad at you, you know."

I was hardly aware of what I was saying, or the fact that Romeo was crying and I wasn't. Even though I was bolted down by Romeo's arms and dizzy and unable to think clearly, I felt strong.

We stayed like that until Romeo got up, dragged me across the roof, and pulled me through the window. I tumbled down and landed on the floor. Romeo helped me up.

I was silent. Romeo pushed my hair out of my eyes. My heart was beating wildly out of my control.

"Happy birthday," he said. He locked the window and disappeared.

♥ ♥ ♥

I cried because I didn't know how to do anything else.