Hearts

seven

Life moved on. When I woke up the next day, the world was still spinning, and my heart was still beating. When I climbed out of bed, I was back on my mission of figuring out how to live; only now, it wasn't just for me anymore. Romeo was a little skeptical about me being so willing to search for a new normal, but he went along with it. 

"It's not so bad," I'd occasionally say out loud to remind myself that it could, in fact, be way worse. If Romeo was next to me, and as long as I wasn't crying hysterically, he'd repeat it back to me.

It's not so bad. It's not so bad? It's not so bad.

It turned out that Romeo and I didn't need to search far for an apartment. Romeo had an uncle who owned a bunch of apartments here in Aerbruscht, and he gave us keys to a furnished two-bedroom suite with the conditions that we kept the place clean and didn't annoy the neighbors. We were able to move in a few days after we had first arrived in the city.

"Is it weird that I'm gonna miss sharing a bed?" Romeo asked as I helped him unpack. "I mean, you're such a bed hog, and now I'll have so much space that I don't know what to do with."

"I'm sure you'll manage," I told him. "Also, I offered to sleep on the floor every time we got a hotel room with one bed, and you wouldn't let me. So, your discomfort was your own fault."

Romeo threw a shirt at me. "Irrelevant. Fold that one and put it in the second drawer, would you?"

I did as I was told. "You have so much stuff. We've been unpacking for a few hours now, and five minutes of that was for me."

"You left your life behind," Romeo pointed out. "I brought mine with me." He tossed me another shirt.

I folded the shirt and placed it in the dresser. "Do you plan on going back?"

Romeo nodded. "I think so. I need to at least visit home by the end of the summer for my mom's birthday. I might stay if I feel like I got everything I wanted from the outside world."

It occurred to me that I didn't have a vision as to where I was supposed to end up. How long was I going to live in Aerbruscht? Would it be with Romeo? Would I want to abandon this adventure before or after Romeo did? Would I ever go back home now that there was nothing there for me?

"What you want matters too," Romeo continued. "I have to take you back whenever you want to go."

Shawna's funeral was this week, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back for that.

"So, what's next for us?" I asked. "Is this where the adventure begins? Or has it been happening the whole time?"

"I feel like every day with you is an adventure," Romeo told me. "But yeah, I'm halfway done with my book, I think. I just need to finish it here. And as for what we do next, I guess we're supposed to live."

Live. I wondered how I had been alive for so long and still wasn't sure what it meant to live.

"You should find something to do tomorrow," Romeo suggested. "I have a job interview, so you'll be able to explore the city on your own."

"Are you sure I can't follow you to your interview?" I asked, half-joking. We had been attached at the hip for weeks, never spending more than an hour apart, so it would feel unfamiliar to have the whole day to myself.

Romeo shrugged. "You could. You don't want to. The interview is just a formality. I already have the job, and I'm supposed to start working tomorrow."

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"Whatever you want to," Romeo said. "If you went grocery shopping at some point, that'd be great. Otherwise, totally up to you. You could go to the library?"