respawn ♥︎ 'level up' trilogy

(15) mortemsirenis

*GUESS WHO'S BACK!! BACK AGAIN!!

RO IS BACK!! TELL A FRIEND!!!

seriously it's been YEARS!! i need to finally finish this fucking thing. i started it in 2017. it's 2024. there's only two chapters left after this one!! losing my voltron hyperfixation, writers block, severe mental illness, surviving a tornado, moving, starting a cosplay account (not sharing the @ because it has my real name and face and i want tmy writing to be anonymous), and increasingly poor physical health have all made this extremely difficult. over the past few years i've been diagnosed with 2 new mental illnesses and 5ish physical illnesses. i've also had multiple hospitalizations. my life has been fucking hell. but I'm in therapy and starting to turn my life around! i might even go back to school soon! we'll see. anyway, i luckily made a binder dedicated to character profiles, plot, timeline and world building so i haven't forgotten anything. i literally handmade a calendar so i wouldn't forget the in-universe events. i also reread my old chapters (they're so cringe in hindsight! i've grown up i guess. i'm not a teenager anymore.) let's get into it!!

an important reminder before we get into it. when i started level up, it was set in present day. due to my shit ton of hiatuses, this story is currently set in 2018. i didn't keep up with the passage of time lol. specific years are mentioned at the end so i wanted to clarify that.*

(2880 words)

December 9

It was 4 a.m. when Lance woke up to an empty bed. Keith was an early riser, but never this early, especially on a Saturday. Lance waited a few minutes, assuming Keith was in the bathroom, but when he didn't return, Lance knew something was wrong and needed to find him.

He got out of bed and wandered into the hall. A light was on in the kitchen, and Lance followed it to find Keith sitting at the table, staring at a cup of coffee.

"Keith?" Lance asked softly as he entered. "What are you doing up this early?"

Keith didn't look up. "I'm trying to convince myself not to go to the store."

Lance sat down next to him. "What do you need from the store?"

"I need to not go at all."

Lance studied Keith's blank expression. "What would you buy if you did go?"

Keith hesitated. "Well, I'm still 19, so I can't legally buy it. I'd have to steal it. That's even worse than buying it."

Lance understood immediately. Alcohol.

He took a moment before speaking again. "You know you can tell me anything, right? No matter how bad it is."

Keith finally looked at Lance. "What was it like for you on your birthday?"

"Which part? I felt a lot that day."

"How did you feel knowing it was the anniversary of her death?"

Lance looked down, grappling with the sensitive subject. "It felt like the world was shattering around me. I was consumed by guilt, grief, and regret. Logically, I know it's not my fault, but that's how it feels. It's like a heavy, dark blanket. Why are you asking?"

"Because I wanted to know if I was the only one who feels like that on the anniversary of the death of  someone I couldn't save."

The room was silent for a moment, with a heavy, unspoken truth hanging between them.

Finally, Lance spoke. "It's Cyrin, isn't it? He died on this day?"

Keith nodded, silent.

Lance struggled to respond. Keith's role in Cyrin's death was complex—some would blame him entirely, while others would completely absolve him. Both would have valid arguments. Lance couldn't simply say there was nothing Keith could have done, because there were alternatives. So, he offered the only reassurance he could.