Our Deathly Love

The White Room, Emmy Style

As I walked out of the hallway, leaving Mikey and Jasper banging on the outside of the door, I took notice of the surroundings of my new home: the room I was standing in was a standard kitchen. Not the kind I had obviously; my kitchen was small and cramped. The oven only worked half the time, the fridge's noise could drown out even the loudest of people, not to mention to get sink water you had to go out back and crank the pump. Microwave you ask? Forget it! My mother was a bit of a technophobe. But this kitchen was right out of a magazine: stainless steel sink and fridge, not to mention the appliances. Name it; this kitchen had it. You would expect to see a movie mom making her famous pies or turkey dinner to impress the relatives or her husband's boss in here.

The walls were a peach color, the counter that squared around the room only breaking for the door ways were light wood, with cream tops shiny and unbelievably clean. There were three big widows in the kitchen; one was over the stove, which was white, matching the empty teakettle sitting on top. Overall this kitchen was something unreal. It almost made me want to play Martha Stuart in it... Almost.

It made me want to pretend that my mother had just stepped out of the room to serve on trays to her guests. It made me want to pretend that my mother would walk into the room wearing big white pearls and a huge smile on her face as she dipped around in a cocktail dress, her perfume would make my nose twitch and sneeze causing her to usher me out to the living room which would be full of guests and I would go up and hug my dad from behind just like the movie daughters do. Dad would be smoking a pipe, bragging about the deal he had just sealed, and about are vacation we would be taking to the beach in the summer. And the last part that I wished for the most was when mom walked out of the swinging white door caring a tray of party snacks as she stood back up from placing them on the table. She would have an inflated stomach, carrying the sibling I wanted dearly. I had always been alone. Being an only child was not all it was cracked up to be. I wanted, more than anything, to be a big sister. That was the only thing I wished for Christmas; it was what I always blew for on birthday candles, and occasionally, if motivated, what I prayed for. None of the things worked, sadly. Little brothers and sisters did not come from just wishing.

My glimpses vanished sadly from my view as the quite was broken by Jasper and Mikey stumbling in. Knocking me over, Jasper looked angrily at me as he gripped my hand, not arm, and steadied me. Mikey on the other had was laughing as he skipped by me. Seriously he was skipping! He gave me a smile, which creeps me right the hell out. He skipped through the doorway on the other side of the kitchen toward the rest of the house. I accurately ripped my hand out of Jasper's who had not let go yet. My eyes not daring to meet his as I stomped away following Mikey.

My still soggy sneakers squeaked, sloshed, and slapped across the linoleum floor as I walked across the room. I could hear the sound of running and giggling as I crossed the living room that was downstairs. I trotted through the room not really bothering the pay attention to the room besides the fact that it was blue and the couch was bright red. I avoided the laughing noises that were coming from an adjacent hall and decided to instead save myself the headache and take the stairs that were positioned in the back of the living room.

The stairs made a creaking sound as I walked up them. I clutched the wood banister tightly as I walked up, pouting slightly as I noticed that there were people upstairs as well. I could hear music blaring from a room upstairs as well as yelling. Not everyone got along, apparently.

I looked at the room that the stairs pooled into. The room was a bright red color with different colored couches, love seats, beanbag chairs, and extras. Not to mention a wide screen TV. Okay I know this is going to sound weird, but that fact alone made me excited. I know that for some people it's no big deal, but for me it was 'oh how did Arya put it um? Oh that's right, Boss!' My mom, being a technophobe, never bought a TV, so I had only been subjected to TV's at school or in the windows of shops. But now I could watch TV. If I wasn't so tired I would have plopped myself on the couch and see what was on. But sadly I was in the need of a more comfortable outfit that wasn't drenched or icky feeling. I would kill for a hot shower as well. Don't even get me started on my house's one-bathroom and shower!

So tiredly I looked around. I noticed there was a door in the room. Curiosity getting the better of me, I marched over to it. Who knows what could be in there? A music room, a pool, a spa...

You could just imagine my disappointment to open the door, screaming as something heavy swung and fell on top of me with a thud. I wrenched away from the monster, the evil... coat rack? "Damn, now that was embarrassing," I mumbled to myself. Realizing that it was a coat closet I pushed the stand back up and kicked the coats inside closing the door.

I walked to the only hallway upstairs. The hallway was a misty blue-green color; there were five doors in the hallway. They were made out of a lightwood. Each of the doors was decorated with a whiteboard. Words were scribbled on each door. I walked down the hall, reading the first 2 door's signs. As I hesitantly walked I read them to myself:

'Girl's Bathroom' was scrolled neatly in curly penmanship on the first right hand side door.
'Boy's Bathroom' was scrolled just as neatly on the first left hand side door.

I could read the end of the hall's door before the other two; it was printed in a different less-polished way, in all caps and sloppily splashed on,
'STUDY'.
The door did not interest me as much or shock me as the next two did. As I walked down the white carpet and stood in front of the next two doors, I groaned, at what the signs said:

'Girls Room!'
' Emelia, Rosary, & Mimi'

As I opened the door I murmured to myself. "Please not be her, please not be her, please not be HER!" sadly as I turned the doorknob, and walked into the room I was surrounded by yelling.

"THIS CANNOT BE MY ROOM!" Mimi yelled, graced in her pink puke of an outfit. She was fuming at the room. Her hands were raised up, as she growled at the other girl who was a total 360 of Mimi: She had raven black hair, which she held up in two long ponytails. Her face was pale and she was wearing a simple black dress with what I could only call churchy shoes. She had this look on her face like she wanted to kill Mimi.

"Well for your information, Mimi, this IS your room, and it's OUR room too," the girl, who I assumed was Rosary, growled.

"Hey leave me out of it, I want to be able to sleep here without getting smothered in my sleep," I mumbled, not really wanting to get into one of Mimi's fights.

"Well then, by all means you can give up your closet space to this bimbo but I for one am not!" the girl growled angrily at me.

"It's not like you even NEED the space, for what, if you can even call them clothes? They are the exact same outfit! Every single one of them!! I mean, I understand having an extra of something like a cute mini skirt... but 27 of the same black ugly dress is SO... stupid!"

"For the last time there is a difference!" Rosary growled angrily, waving her hands to the dresses that lay out on her bed. I for one could not see the difference. But to her there was some difference so I kept my mouth shut.

"Rosary is right. Give her closet space. You have your own space you know," I said rolling my eyes, annoyed at them.

"My name is ROSE! R-O-S-E, ROSE! For the last time! God!" she yelled, pivoting and giving me a dirty look.

"I assumed because the door said that was your name."

"Well the door called you EMELIA. Do you go by Emelia?" she said angrily.

"Well, no, I actually go by Emmy," I said, realizing this was some weird angry name swap.

"Okay then, I won't call you Emelia if you don't call me Rosary," Rose said, turning around and walking to the small twin bed up against the wall. Mimi gave a glare as she also walked to her twin bed but it was up against the opposite wall. Lucky me I got the bed right in between them.

As I stepped into the room I noticed it was a pale pink color, not a bright popping pink, but the type of pink that seemed worn down and sad. It seemed at least a few years old. The floor had hard gray carpet, not the comfy long carpet I had at my house. The room's walls were bare except for the pictures that Rose was putting up with black duck tape... Random bands and black construction paper littered her side of the room; it was obvious she was trying to darken up the girlie room. On the gray floor there was white duck tape. The duck tape showed lines cutting off the room into three sections. My portion was the smallest of the three. At least they had seemed to agree that I was not getting as much room to put my things as them. Mimi's side was adorned with Robert Pattinson, Zack Efron and all of the guys you would expect a girl with a mind set of a 12-year-old to have on the wall. Besides those two I was not too sure who most of those half dressed men were on her wall. She had also set up a chalkboard with some sort of rules on them:

"RULES FOR THE LOSERS WHO CALL THEMSELVES MY ROOM MATES"
"RULE 1: NEVER GO TO MY SIDE OF THE ROOM!!!"
"RULE 2: DON'T BOTHER TO ASK TO BORROW MY THINGS BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER LET YOU REJECTS USE THEM"
"RULE 3: REALIZE I'M SO MUCH BETTER THEN YOU!"
"RULE 4: IF I HAVE FRIENDS OVER YOU CAN'T COME IN"
"RULE 5: KEEP YOUR SIDE OF THE ROOM CLEAN"
Maybe if you fallow these rules and listen to all I say you won't be such a reject.

What the hell types of rules was that? I thought to myself as I walked towards "my area" which included a twin bed like Rose and Mimi's bed, along with my chest, which had everything snug inside, as well as four boxes and a duffel bag which were placed on top of it. Next to my bed was a nightstand and a lamp.
I ran my fingers over the top of my chest; I had convinced my mother to give me the chest from the attic, and she had put the original contents of the chest under my now vacant bed at home.

I opened my bulging duffel bag, spilling out panda-plushes, brightly colored bras and panties along with pairs upon pairs of socks. I put the pandas on my bed; their glossy eyes stared at me as if sad about not having their polished shelves or best panda friends. I could only fit 12 of my pandas in the bag the other 54 had to stay home. That's right. All together I have 66 pandas in my collection, not to mention other mementos. The other pandas would have to collect dust in my room. While at my bed I pulled my soft panda pillow cover over my pillow. Its white and black color looked weird against the pink floral print comforter that lay on my bed. Yet at the same time it was something familiar and made me feel much more at ease. Even if it did not match, it was staying.

I quickly unpacked the rest of the duffel bag, putting the clothes away where they belonged, either hanged up in my assigned closet space or put in the plastic organizer that was up against the wall. It was a bright pink organizer with clear plastic so you could see what it held inside it had my name in sharpie on top. I guessed it was for some of my clothes. Rose and Mimi's were on ether side of mine. Apparently Pandora did know everything, which is super creepy if you ask me. Even weirder was the fact that my bed happened to be the only bed with an outlet next to it. I wonder if Pandora knew all along, or if it was just a coincidence that there was an outlet there. Ether way I knew that I was lucky. So grudgingly I pulled out my panda nightlight from my bag, the type you plug into the wall. It had a smiling panda bear body, which illuminated with light. I will admit I am positively terrified of the dark. But come on, do you really blame me for having a bit of apprehension for the dark?

I was happy that I was finally finished unpacking the duffel bag, which I kicked under my bed with a swoosh. So I happily moved onto the four boxes. Two of the boxes were clothes, which I put away in my closet space, which was about the size of my closet at home. Which was surprisingly small, but it was not really the point. The point was that I didn't have a bookcase! I mean, where was I going to put my books?! Okay so I don't normally read all the time but still I had to have a place to put my top 20 books, which included all the Ellen Hopkins, some Sarah Dressen, and not to mention my study books and also my newest book 'Dummies Guide to Computers'. It's highlighter yellow cover stood out against the other smaller books. I decided that it would be best to put the books under my bed, stacked by type so that I could get to them when needed.

I piled the four empty boxes on top of each other and put it under my bed, which was now getting pretty cramp for room. I moved onto my trunk next, as it was the last thing that needed to be unpacked. I pulled the cover up looking at the fine detail of the box. Its cool wood lid felt heavier than I thought it would be as I lifted it up, the wood made a knocking sound as it hit the post of my bed. I got down on my knees; the jeans' wet material scratched my leg. I ignored the discomfort as I stared into the trunk. It had side pockets bolted on they were made of a purple taffeta material. The pockets held incense, lighters, bottles, and ingredients. My mother had obviously packed it. In one of the pockets happened to be a bunch of little vials, which held seeds. My mother's curly penmanship marked delicately what the vial contained. My mother had made careful care to what was put in here. She had not let me look to what she was putting in the trunk; she said it was a surprise. The surprise was that I had everything I could possibly need. The trunk was full of vials, paper, pens, candles, ingredients, seeds, herbs; everything a witch could need was in this trunk.

For a moment I was shocked, then ultimately pleased by what I saw. Smiling for the first time since that stupid letter arrived, I pulled out some candles. I wanted to get some good energy in the room. I pulled out a red one to channel my Zodiac powers. I was an Aries; and the red candle helped channel my abilities. I also pulled out a white candle for purity, a black candle to banish evil or negativity, a gray candle for removing negativity and encouraging stability; it will also help me develop my psychic abilities as well as attract the influence of the Mother Goddess, which will help my chances of the candle spell of working.

I placed the thick candles in a circle on the table next to my bed. I went back to the trunk and pulled out a vial of fairy dust, which I knew was not necessary for the spell but I also knew it would help the magic work. Plus, with so many fairies running around the school, it shouldn't be too hard to get more. Fairy dust was just like dandruff, except to fairies it was secreted energy. That explained why it sparkled. Usually it was a difficult substance to find, but I believe that I just had to have a seat behind or next to a fairy in a class and I would be good. So taking the vial out of the trunk, as well as a lighter, and a sewing pin, I walked back over to the candles. I lit the red candle first so that my energy was doubled. Then I lit the white candle to drawl the circle together, after that the silver and last I steadied my breath, in and out, only concentrating on the last black candle.

I held the long lighter in my hands trying to steady myself, trying to get into a zone as I lit the black candle. I pricked my finger with the pin I had gotten from the trunk. Shiny red blood blossomed at the end of my finger. I stared at the blood, than I let it drip onto the candles, one drop per candle, before I pulled my finger away. Then, slowly controlling my breathing, I poured the dust into my hands, allowing myself to sift it hand to hand as I stared into the candle.

The room swayed and I felt myself being pulled away as I stared into the reddish-orange flickering light. I cleared my mind of everything that had happened today; I cleared my mind of the people, the places, and the encounters that had brought me here from my mind. I cleared myself of Mimi and her glares, of Rose and her snug remarks, and last I cleared myself of Jasper and his smirks. I allowed the candle to suck me in, to pull me away. I closed my eyes and pictured a pure white room. Four white walls, a white ceiling, and a white floor were the only aspects of the room. It wasn't stained by cracks or windows or doors; only pure white. It was an impenetrable box of pure white light. I allowed my mind to take me there: to the room.

I suddenly found myself in the room with no doors or windows, just white walls. I was not afraid though, quite the contrary: I felt safe, secure, and untouchable. The feelings filled me to the brink of pure joy. I felt nothing but the waves of happiness; this room was my safe room, my happy place, you could call it. No, it wasn't like my mother's, who said when she traveled to hers it was a garden. Mine was just a never-ending ray of light, of perfection, of safety. I allowed myself to be filled with calm, love, and safety before I did what I had to do. I told my real body what to do, willing it, forcing it, making it do what I wanted. In a way, right now I was risking a lot. If not willed properly, I could get stuck here, which is what happens to people in a coma. If I could not control my outer body, or was to selfish and chose to stay, my real body would become a vegetable. Although it would be wonderful to stay here, I knew I could not. So I told my arms to move. I told my mind to envision a door in the white room. I told my body to sprinkle the dust over the candles.

I could see a brown door appear in the pure white wall. It was easy to tell it should not be there. It did not make since in this realm. But I knew I had to go through it just as I knew I would be back in my real body if I did. So I walked my (mind) body to the door. My fake hands grabbed for the crystal doorknob. The knob's glass was cool against my fingers. The hardest part of this place, which its name has long been forgotten, is not getting to this place but leaving it. The moment my fake hand turned the doorknob, I was flashed with memories, with pain of the real world.

This world didn't want you to leave; it wanted you to stay. Anything bad that had happened could be used against you to get you to stay. Only the strong can leave. Only the strong cane leave there, the perfect world, and renter the real world of pain and hardship. For the briefest moment I stopped. For the briefest moment, this dream world almost had me. For the briefest moment, I pulled away from the door. I thought about how easy it would be to stay, how easy it would be to not have to deal with what has become of my life. No father, no friends, now no real home, and my mother sending me here. Which made me wonder what did I possibly have to go back to?

Then my mind gave me a picture: a dark purple plum. Something this world could not give me. Sure, it could give me carbon copies but it could never give me the taste of a fresh plum. It could never give me the taste of the sticky plum juice as it fell down my chin. I know it sounds absurd but that plum saved me. It led to other things this world could not copy, such as a first kiss or the smell of the wet dewy grass, or the crunch of leaves in the autumn, or even the feel of a cold shower, however unpleasant that may be. This world would never keep me happy, although it was perfect for little pick me ups now and again. Which is why I forced myself to open the door, as soon as the door was open this world could not give me memories it could only give me the happiness I yearned for. I closed my eyes as a swift air seemed to grab a hold of me and sucked me through the door.

I stumbled as I went through the shock of the bright colors of the room. My eyes blinked rapidly as I tried to focus. My headache had started to diminish from the feelings of the room. I was still full of the feelings of calm, love, and happiness, which helped lower my stress level substantially. Although my headache had disappeared, I still felt unpleasantly damp from that stupid pond. Shaking my head slowly to get rid of the fuzziness, I walked over to my organizer and grabbed a pair of flannel purple panda pajamas with matching socks and undergarments. Then I dropped them on my bed pulling off a scrunches from the bedpost, which, in my opinion, was the best place for them. I walked over to my trunk pulling out a candlesnuffer. Mimi was watching me curiously as I snuffed out the candles.

"Why don't you just blow them out?" Mimi asked a frown on her face.

"You don't blow out spell candles. Of course, a thickheaded fairy like you wouldn't understand," Rose growled from her seat on the floor. She had a candle circle formed herself. There were six candles forming the circle half yellow half orange, to boast creativity, she had a white candle in the middle of the circle to balance out the energies. She had some type of instrument box in her hands, as well as a scrawl on her long face. Her head was slanted causing her hair to brush the candle. She was in control of the candles or at least that was my guess, because the flames never caught her hair. She had a dirty look on her face, which she was pointing at Mimi. I did not wish to be part of their dispute so rolling my eyes I grabbed my things off the bed and walked out of the room.

I smiled as I walked down the hallway. Energy was flowing through me as I strutted down to the bathroom. I could see Jasper sitting in the living room; he gave me a short sad smile as he turned his head back to the TV screen. It was my guess he was not mad at me anymore. I felt some relief: although annoying, he was a bit funny, and it would be cool to get to know him better.

I shook my head as I opened the bathroom door. The room was pitch black, I frantically groped the wall for the light switch. A few seconds of pure terror passed until I finally found it and switched the light on. Quickly scanning the room for possible threats, and finding none, I closed the door quickly behind me. I sighed a sigh of relief as I heard the lock click behind me. Smiling I looked around the room, it had a shower/bathtub that was a silver color, a white toilet and wrap around cabinets there was a long mirror that wrapped above the cabinets as well as a small sink that was placed into the long white cabinets. The room was a light blue, the floor was made of a light brown wood.

I smiled as I placed my cloths on the counter. I turned the shower on letting the water heat up as I looked for a towel. I found them in one of the white cabinets, along with conditioner, shampoo, and body wash. Pulling those things out of the cabinet I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked like a wet kitten; my brown curly hair was sticking up in every direction, my eyes looked hollow and I was shivering. Frowning slightly I turned my back on the mirror, and got into the steaming hot shower.