“And each person will be paid in full of what he did, And He is Best Aware of what they do.” ( Q 39:70)
•••
There was silence: long and eerie. Head down, I awaited their response. A soft breeze blew around us, ruffling our attires as people hurried past us. We looked like we were having a family meeting, or just chilling, away from the hospital chaos.
Suddenly there was laughter. I looked up and saw Isma’il—cackling like a mad man, not minding that Imam Mujahideen was adjacent to him. It wasn’t a this-is-ridiculous kind of laugh, but one of please-tell-me-it's-not-true, because he kept glancing at the others, waiting for someone to join him.
“Kauthar,” he said when the laughter reduced to low chuckles. “that's not possible.” He shook his head and watched me, waiting for me to confirm it. “I know you.” He added.
I scoffed. “Do I look like I’m joking here?”
He frowned and looked away, as if in thought. “But how?”
“How?” I asked, staring at him incredulously. Was he seriously asking this?
“You!” A shrill voice interrupted, and we turned to see Hidaya and her mum standing a few meters away from us. It looked as if they followed us out.” I knew it!” she shrieked, eyes popping, nose flaring, “I just knew it, since that day I have been suspecting you.” She started coming towards me but was blocked by her Mum.
“No Mama!” Hidaya snapped at her, then faced me. “How could you? How could you!” Her loud voice earned curious glances from the people passing behind her. “What did she do to you?” She ambled towards me again. “What wrong did she commit,” she whispered. “that you made her go through this hell! Why?” I watched as tears fell down her face in single drops.
“Kauthar,” Isma’il called my attention, “I never expected this from you, you of all people.” He scrunched his face in disgust. “What, when did all this begin?”
“My last visit to Kano,” I stated.
Then Hidaya lunged at me, losing the black veil wrapped around my neck. “You evil woman!” Her mum and Meena held her down. “You watch, you’re a pathetic excuse of a—"
As they tried to hold her down, the two security officials at the gate joined us, with a threat to kick us all out of the premises should we start fighting again.
After Hidaya and her mother went back inside. I let out a sigh, then faced my family again. This time, my father, who sat quietly in the driver’s seat of Ismail's car, hands clasped tightly, said, “But Kauthar,” he looked up at me, eyes filled with surprise and… disappointment.
I ducked my head. “It was Isma’il!” I cried out.
Ismail's head snapped in my direction. “Ke! Don’t you dare mention my name?” He warned, wagging a finger at me.
I glared at him, “You broke your promise to me. You said nothing will change after your wedding. But it did. You did.” I pointed at him.
“Is that why you want to kill an innocent woman?” He glowered. “If you wanted to hurt me, why didn’t you then?”
“Hurting Salsabil was my way of hurting you. Since she’s all you seemed to care about. So much so that you ruined your best friend's happiness, and you were willing to ruin mine too."
“Ah, Kauthar!” Meena piped in beside me. “You didn’t have to go that far, why didn’t you confide in someone? Why didn’t you tell me?” She pointed to herself, shaking her head.
“What would you have done?” I asked
“We would have helped you,” Baba interjected. “We would have talked to him at least.” He pointed to Ismail, arms folded, still glowering at me.
“I will never forgive you for this.” He spat.
“I didn’t even ask for it.” I scoffed.
“Is that all you have to say? Kauthar, you of all people. I trusted you!”
“And I trusted you!” I snapped. For a few minutes, we glared at each other.
“But what did I get in return?” I whispered to myself. “When I lost my first baby, You just threw me aside like I didn’t matter. Do you remember what you said to me that day?” Tears spilt out of my eyes. “I wanted to punish you. I wanted to hurt you so badly, regardless of who or what I had to get to do it." I said, sniffing.
“But was it worth it?” Baba asked.
I turned to him, his eyes still kind, welcoming. I looked away and shook my head. I let out a sigh, then burst into tears. I whispered. "In my quest to hurt Isma’il, I ended up hurting everyone, including myself.” My hands unconsciously went to my stomach. “It wasn’t worth it at all,” I said and looked up at the Imam quietly observing the scene.
“Will God forgive me?” I asked him.
He sighed but nodded. “If you’re sincere in seeking it, of course.”
Then I turned to my father, whose dark brown eyes were already red.
“Baba,” I called. He sighed and held out his hand.
“Allah ya safe Miki–May God forgive you.” He said quietly.
I held his hand and squeezed, then I stood up to look at them. “I take full responsibility for my actions, I can only hope for God…” I let out a shaky breath, “and Salsabil’s forgiveness.”
“Me too.” Aunty Mamy piped in beside Meena. I had forgotten that she was there, and of course, the role she played.
“Isma’il,” The imam called to him. “May I see you in private please?” Isma’il shot me a glare before following the Imam.
I sighted Hidaya coming out. On seeing me, she stopped, arms folded against her chest, her stare was not as aggressive as before.
My eyes moved to the Doctor coming behind them, “Um, excuse me.” It was the same Doctor who attended to us last time. As we gathered around him, Isma’il and the imam joined us. “Mrs Salsabil is awake.” He announced.
The news was soothing, just like the breeze swaying around us.
“Are you serious? Oh, thank God. Some people have been put to shame.”
I ignored Hidaya’s comment as my heartbeat loudly. She made it. She didn’t die. I closed my eyes and faced the sky. Thank you, God. I didn’t get blood on my hands for the second time.
I felt someone's arms around me, Meena. My tears fell in quick drops, soaking Meena's shoulder, but I didn't mind, and neither did she.
Baba joined us, mirroring our smiles of relief—that my evil plans didn’t work, as everything is happening according to God‘s plan.
He plans the best and only what He wills comes to pass.
Together, we walked back in to see our dear Salsabil. My sister. My partner. Forever.
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