The Adventures of Pedro Sorenson

Pedro V.S. Nazis

The Wario-Blimp, or the Wlimp as Wario called it, flew through the skies at minimum speed. It was a long ride, and Pedro fell asleep several times along it. Wario remained ever diligent to get them home, but like this story it was long and boring. 

After several monumentally tedious hours of driving, Wario saw the blimp was running out of gas. He slapped the sleeping Pedro's cheek to wake him.

When slapped, Pedro jumped up in fright and entered a karate stance. 

"Who's there?" Demanded Pedro in a lame Duke Nukem impression. He then saw Wario sitting there unimpressed by Pedro's utter lameness. 

"Oh, just you." He continued in his awful Duke Nukem voice. 

"Hey, asshat, we are out of gas!" Growled Wario.

"Damn." Grunted the still Nukem-voiced Pedro. 

Wario mumbled something to himself about Pedro doing the voice, then he turned the rapidly dying blimp to look for gas. He then spotted a gas station at the peak of one of the mountains for some reason. It must've been there to move the plot forward. 

With the last bit of gas left, Wario maneuvered to land at the station. Docking was rough, however,  because a stupid bird crashed his swordlike beak directly into the blimp, causing it to crash land into the nearby mountain. The systems were going haywire, and the thing was about to go Hindenburg. 

"Pedro, get us out of here!" Screamed Wario. Pedro shrugged. "Maybe this is for the best."

"No! We have to get out of here!" Replied an angry Wario. 

"Ten seconds until core meltdown." Chipped the computer.

Pedro knew what he had to do. He sprinted to the room with the llamas. He picked up the llama bag, which at this point was just a bag of loose flesh and bones, and ran back to grab Wario. He went to the window and kicked it to break. He needed to make a jump to the gas station, but it was several miles away. He then knew exactly what to do.

He had never felt it before, but now he felt as if some energy flowed through his very soul, and that it could be called out. It was 3 seconds to core meltdown, but in that very moment, time froze.

Pedro called out, "MANIC JAM!"

A red ghostlike Pedro Stand flowed from Pedro, giving him strength. Time unfroze and Pedro felt an incredible strength, and he leaped with extreme power. The blimp exploded behind him, bits of gold coins and gamer socks flying everywhere. 

Pedro soared through the mountaintops, and crashed into a gas machine at the station. Upon landing, the llama bag kind of squished around on the pavement, oozing juices and fluids everywhere. In his ever-rotundness, Wario rolled around for a while before ending up in a dumpster with rats and rotting fursuits. 

Pedro did a push up to get on his feet. Several people saw the insane display of utter strangeness that was the jump. Someone poked the llama bag, and it oozed more blood, with some sort of hellish scream. Pedro fell back to his knees. Using Manic Jam for the first time exhausted him substantially. 

Wario clambered out of the dumpster, barely avoiding the great condom rat that lived inside. It feasted on rotting fursuits but liked the smell of Wario. The beast was too lazy to get out as Wario left, so he kept munching on crusty rotting fursuits. 

"What the hell just happened?" He asked, then seeing Pedro who was struggling to remain conscious.

He ran to Pedro, who was by now passed out on the floor. Wario poked Pedro with a stick several times, asking him to get up. The only response was Pedro puking up yesterday's dinner.