Mario sped down the road at 200cc of power, followed by Pedro, who was horny for plumber blood. Elon Musk drove by them, sipping on boring company oil. Definitely not flamethrower oil, because the word "Flamethrower" is copyrighted. That's an actual thing by the way. That's real. Oh no! The book's gonna get taken down because I said Flamethrower. Oh no! Ah well, it's terrible anyway. I'll just ask Diavolo to use King Crimson to stop the copyright because who knows how King Crimson works and ahhh oof ouchie my brain.
As the two intrepid beings sped down the road, Pedro noticed something. He saw that going at 500 miles per hour, Elon Musk was spilling oil everywhere. Pedro launched his car over to the lane where Musk was, and Mario followed. He was in the oil zone. Pedro then lit a match and jumped over to the next lane, but before Mario could follow, Pedro threw the match down at the boring company oil, lighting the road ablaze. Mario was lit on fire.
"I win! Part 2 is over!" shouted Pedro. Then he realized that he only lit Mario's clothes on fire (including his pants), and a naked Mario avoided death. He fell out anyways, since, you know, they are in space. Mario fell towards Earth. Pedro jumped onto the Hubble telescope to look at Mario, who was falling towards the author's house.
Mario hit the drywall, and it made Pedro so happy that he hit his wetwall. Mario was dead, crumbled completely, annihilated, Kakyoin'd. Pedro sighed a breath of relief on the Hubble telescope.
Now, Pedro keeps stuff up his ass in case he needs them. He has some pens, vibrators, a packet of chicken ramen, an AM/FM radio, and most importantly a Medicos JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Part 3--Stardust Crusaders: Mohammed Avdol Super Action Statue. The AM/FM radio went off with the sound of Mario's crusty Italian voice.
"Listen a here a you fuck-a. Im-a still alive. Elon Musk is my servant, too. Now, you will face-a the wrath-a of the spawn-a of his a loin. The new musk-a. The... A... Ayy Eee? Ok I have no clue how to pronounce his name but it's the baby with the funky name and the tattoos Photoshopped on."
Suddenly, X Æ A-12 Musk appeared riding in one of those clown car thingies like the one Bowser Jr. rides in. It had machine guns on either side, and fired bullets at Pedro.
Pedro was shot 69 times, and the story reached 70 reads because we couldn't get perfection, we couldn't achieve heaven.
Close to death, Pedro screamed and leaped off the telescope. Then the author realized that this is space and half the stuff that has happened makes no physical sense. But that's ok.
As Pedro fell to earth, X Æ A-12 Musk laughed like Mannish Boy. (Stand baby Kakyoin arm cut) and Pedro crashed into a local school, killing nobody probably because there was a quarantine.
Pedro looked around. Not much damage was done to him or the school. Really he only knocked this conveniently cross-shaped part of the ceiling down onto this gay Italian dude who likes scarves and bubbles.
Pedro climbed out of the school, looking around. He saw Mario, bleeding and struggling to stand, the flab of his belly covering up his Italian sausage.
The two approached eachother, both aware of what must be done. Both wanting to kill the other with every fiber of their beings. The wind was howling, and for a moment, the world around them in all it's chaos stopped. Pedro was determined with all of his heart to kill this monster, and stop his plan to cook the world into a big ravioli. He would avenge Wario.
To be continued.
YOU ARE READING
The Adventures of Pedro Sorenson
LosoweThis is the story of Pedro Sorenson, a crazy son of a bitch who steals llamas. It makes no sense and is really what happens when I try to be creative while tired. This is trash have a good time. (Anything stupid and offensive said in the parts do no...
