Her Resurrection

chapter 15

Time flew by quickly, though the nights seemed to drag on. Gondien was ever a gentleman with me, and would often take me for walks or would stop by the healing rooms when he returned from the border. Seldomly he had any kind of injury, but he made it a point to speak to me. My heart grew warmer towards him with time, and I soon found myself looking forward to our evenings and little moments together.

Autumn turned to winter, and with it came the colder air. While the Elves never showed signs of suffering from the arctic air outside the walls, I was often wrapped snuggly in warm clothing, and I always seemed to have a rosy hue.

With the darker, colder days my dreams were becoming worse. Each night I was terrorized with visions of dying, and they showed no signs of relenting. I was starting to wonder if I needed to mention it to anyone, or see if there was something I could take to sleep at night. I would stumble through my days and nearly fall asleep in the library with Gondien where we began to spend our evenings. He would read to me out of the books of poetry as we sat near the warm fire. Many mornings I would wake up in my room not knowing or remembering how I had gotten there. The last thing I would remember was his deep soothing voice as he read to me.

How could I become so comfortable with a man in so short a time? I had only been here for close to eight months, and even less time I had spent with him. And yet, I felt as if I had known him for much longer.

Meril had begun to let me treat more and more people alone, taking the time to spend with her family and even leaving me alone for a full day. I took pride in her belief and trust in my abilities. I had worked hard to get were I was, and I knew I still had much more ahead of me to learn.

As we came closer to the holiday I had come to associate with Christmas, the worse I began to feel. It was only my second Christmas without my entire family, and even though there were no exchanging of gifts or any resemblance in decorations, I still felt the gaping hole in my heart.

Celebrian had given the dark green bolt of velvet cloth to me to be made into a dress. The seamstress took some notes on the way I wanted it to be made and agreed to incorporate some of my more modern styles to the dress.

She had found some lace of the same color and used it to form a drape around my uncovered arms and down the back. I had drawn for her a sweetheart neckline and asked for a pleated belt to accentuate my waistline. All in all, I was very happy with the dresses design, but I could not find the joy deep inside of me to be able to enjoy such a beautiful dress. I missed my family greatly, and I wanted nothing more than to discuss my newfound life with them.

I wiped the stray tear from my cheek as I had often found myself doing and ground even harder at the turmeric roots. I found it easier to take out my frustrations on the plants than to talk about them, even though I knew I needed to discuss my feelings with someone.

"-ther. Esther?"

I jumped in fright, nearly throwing the stone mortar in my hand before I realised the Ellon in front of me had been trying to get my attention. "Oh! Gondien, I'm so sorry!" I frantically swiped at the powder I had flung all over his chest.

"It's alright, Esther," he said with a chuckle. I kept rubbing, but the powder seemed intent on staying on his tunic. He gently stopped my frantic hands. "It will come out in the wash."

"I'm still sorry," I chuckled. "Though I think you may have deserved it after scaring me!"

"Oh?"

I backed away from the devilish glint in his eye, holding my hands out in a placating gesture. "Now, Gondien, I don't have time for any nonsense," I said as I backed away.