Random Shitty Writings

2/27/20 8:30pm

She sits quietly wondering what she ever did wrong. She's tried everything she could to be normal at her new school but her life is falling apart. A popular Junior named Bellamy is turning the school against her. she sits in her advisory and hides away unless she needs to move. She does her best to seem happy but it's taking every part of her to not run home everyday. She's trying so hard not to cry. Why is the world so cruel to her? What did she do to make the superiors angry at her? Was it because she doubted them? She was a kid. Why... Why did they take away the one i loved most and let a void enter my heart and soul. knowing nothing can fill it. Friends helped for awhile. until Bellamy turned them against her. Relationships fix it for a month or more sometimes. But then she just ends up feeling more empty. And not knowing what to do to make it better. she doesn't want to break off her relationship that she's in right now... But she isn't feeling loved nor feeling the love. She wants nothing more than to have her mother back. She'd risk anything, everything... But she can't. They can't. Her mother is dead. and the only way to ever see her again is by dying. But she's fought so hard for so long.. She's alive for 6 people. Maybe a few others. But mainly her Best friends: Rose, Natalie, Kellan, Ainsley, Henry, and her mom. Even if she's gone she knows she wouldn't want her ending her life just to see her. So what can she do. She doesn't even want to live with her brother and father. She'd rather live with Rose. Who's parents adore me just as much as she adores me. Recently she's been listening to Ana Blue because she can relate so much. She also started listening to Blink-182. And a podcast on IHeartRadio named Crime junkie. She's addicted to coffee knowing its the worst addiction she'll ever have. hopefully. 

Bedtime... Sleep is for the weak a friend of mine once said. But now.. she can barely say it out of guilt. 

she knows she should go to bed. but she needs to vent... 

Night.