that night - m.de la cruz

Nobody's clean

Kids my age, they say the futur is fluid. Those old ideas of what it is to be a man or a woman are going away. I believe it's true. I hope it is. But we're not there yet. Plenty of boys think there's not much choice at all. They have to be strong and stoic and in control. They have to be a man. And hide the things that hurt the most. What happens when they can't hide anymore? I took a deep breath when I woke up this morning. I saw Monty beside me and remembered last night. I grabbed a hoodie and put it on before going downstairs to make coffee.
Dad: hey.
Me: omfg.
Me: Dad! You can't just do that.
I said putting my fist down.
Dad: You're eating with me this morning?
Me: Sorry I have plans, but maybe tonight?
Dad: yeah sure, I'm gonna go to the hospital see if I can work a little on some papers.
Me: okay, have a great day daddy.
I said before kissing his cheek. He kissed my forehead before leaving. As my coffee was starting to brew, I got lost in my thoughts. We both know that's where this whole story begins and ends. With boys trying to be man. And everyone they hurt along the way. Everyone they hurt. Even themselves. I felt hands wrap around my waist and a gentle kiss was made on my neck. Monty.
Me: hi.
Monty: hey. I thought I heard your dad.
Me: oh yeah, he was here but he went back to the hospital.
He approved before sitting at the table with me and drinking coffee.
Monty: So you're going to come back to the team?
Me; I think so yeah, I really missed playing with y'all for real.
I said laughing before getting a text from Justin saying if I can come pick him up.
Me: Come on, lets go get ready we're picking up Justin.
Monty: really? I thought we could ditch.
Me: I'm trying to graduate dummy.
I said laughing. My phone vibrates and it was Clay.
Me: yo.
Clay: They found his Range Rover and blood. With fingerprints that weren't his. And drugs.
Me: So what? It's a car. It probably has tons of fingerprints. And what drugs?
Because I knew something about drugs in this friend group.
Clay: She didn't say, but Oli my prints could be on there.
Me: Did you kill him?
Clay: Of course not!
Me: Then you have nothing to worry about.
Me: MONTY WE'RE LEAVING!
Me: look I'm on my way to your house, we can talk about it after. Okay?
Clay: You don't wanna know why my fingerprints could be on there?
Me: Not really no.
And he hung up. Monty and I got into the car and drove to Clay/Justin's house. Justin came out running of the house and we didn't even wait for Clay before leaving.
Me: Did you take care of...
Justin: 1st guy didn't work, I'm gonna try again. But I'm handling it.
I approved while Monty was trying to understand what we were saying. When we arrived school, all three of us went straight to the lockers room and saw the cops walking.
Me: What's going on?
Zach: they're doing a search. Since they found drugs in Bryces car.
I rolled my eyes and looked at Justin and Monty who were both tapping foot.
Monty: You know, you can't just do this. What about our First Amendment rights?
Me: That would be the Fourth Amendement.
Bolan: Thank you Ms. Michael and the Supreme Court has established our schools right to function in loco parentis.
Monty: Dempsey, what the hell? You got nothing to say about this?
Zach: We talked about it in pre-season. Liberty Tigers play clean. I say go ahead and search.
I took Montys hand and told him to calm down. They kept looking at everyone's bag and when they arrived at Luke's bag everyone stopped breathing.
Cop: Sheriff! Take a look.
I mean quite a few of the guys at Liberty we're using. And you can draw a line from everyone of them to Bryce Walker.
Sheriff: Holliday?
Luke: Yes, sir?
Sheriff: Come with me, son.
They both left while Monty and Justin started relaxing. As all the cops left, Zach hit a locker.
Zach: shit.
Me: hey, it's not your fault.
I said before we all went to the gym and started doing cardio.
Alex came to see me at my locker while I was talking to Justin.
Alex: Do you guys know what's going on?
Me: they've searched the football locker room. Caught Luke with steroids.
Alex: Luke?
Jess arrived and both Alex, Justin were uncomfortable.
Alex: Heads up if you have shit in your locker. They're doing a search.
Justin: They already did, the football team.
Alex: My dad is still here, they'll do the whole school, I promise.
Jess: I have nothing to hide anyways.
Alex: Well good for you.
And he left.
Me: Follow him.
I said before Justin followed him but putting a distance between them. Zach went with the cops to talk about Luke since he was the team captain.
Justin texted Clay and I in a hurry to meet him at the library. Justin threw his binder on the table and opened it. There was a red case, Clay gently opened it.
Clay: I don't believe it. Not Alex.
He passed it on to me and I opened it, there was a bunch of bottles of Testosterone Cypionate. Steroids.
Justin: Bryce was dealing them.
Clay: Why would Bryce deal? He didn't need the money.
Me: Maybe it was about the control. Anyone who bought from him, he had a hand on them.
Clay: But Alex, he's a mellow guys.
Justin: Alex is mellow?
Me: I'll talk to him.
Clay: Me too.
And we both left the library with the red case. As we were walking I saw a bunch of posters from Jess's group HO.
Me: Are they really gonna disrupt his funeral?
Clay: I don't know.
Me: I mean yeah he did a lot of fucked up shit, but he's still a human.
Clay: yeah I-ALEX! WAIT UP!
He said running towards Standall. I walked and all three of us went to sit in the cafeteria. I put the red case on the table.
Me: Care to explain?
Alex: This is fucked up! This is like an invasion of privacy!
Clay: He got it out of a garbage can.
Alex: Fuck Justin!
He said screaming.
Alex: He's gonna rat people out about drugs? Really?
Me: Are you okay?
Alex: Are you? Are you okay? Clay, are you?
Alex: Fuck you guys!
He screamed again. I took his hand.
Me: Alex....
Alex: Just don't tell my dad, okay?
He said looking into my eyes. I approved.
Clay: Is it about Bryce?
Alex: No. I didn't buy from Bryce. Luke hooked me up with a guy.
Me: why tho?
Alex: Why do you think? Just look at me.
Me: You're handsome Alex, anyone would be lucky to have you.
Alex: Well you're the only girl in the whole county who would go for a skinny, sad kid. And you went for Winston.
Me: hey watch it.
He laughed.
Alex: Wouldn't you have done anything to have Hannah love you back? To choose you over Zach or stupid Justin.
Alex: Even before I shot myself, it's like the pieces never worked. And there never going to.
...
Clay: can I talk to you?
Me: yeah sure. Let me just grab my books and we can walk to my car.
He smiled at me before waiting patiently. As we were walking to my car he said:
Clay: Who's Winston?
Me: Winston Williams. He's a hook up I had when I got here....
Clay: But you didn't even know anyone.
Me: Well, Bryce and I had meet already. My father threaten his grandfather a couple of times already. So Bryce and I talked and he asked me to go to a party.
Flashback:
Me: Dude I hate rich kid parties.
Bryce: Every Larry I've ever had was a rich kid party.
He said laughing while we walked around the pool.
Me: I don't even know anybody here.
Bryce: So? You'll meet people. Oh there's Monty.
He said while a man was walking towards us with a flannel shirt and some black skinny jeans.
Monty: Dude I don't know anyone here.
Me: Literally said the same thing.
We both laughed.
Bryce: If it sucks, we'll leave. I don't care. Just glad to be hanging out.
Monty: Yeah me too. Anyways I'm Monty.
Me: Oli.
Bryce: I'm going to see if this house has top-shelf whiskey.
And he left leaving both Monty and I looking around. We talked for a bit before drinking a lot. I was walking away to go talk to people just like he did, and I made eye contact with a guy.

I didn't see the guy at all night except when I tried to find the bathroom. I walked into him laying on the floor looking at CD's.
Me: Sorry I was looking for the bathroom.
?: Not here sorry.
Me: That's okay, I'm Oli.
?: Winston.
We talked for a couple of minutes before he locked the door. We got closer and ended up having sex on some strangers bed. When I got down, Monty saw how I looked and I guess he knew that I just had sex. Before a dude interrupted our eye contact.
Me: You seem lost.
?: Yeah, I'm looking for Bryce.
Monty: Haven't seen him in awhile.
Bryce: ALEX! YOU MADE IT!
He said screaming from the other end of the room. I laughed.
Alex: You got the stuff?
Bryce: Oh the juice. Yeah it's in my car.
Alex: Dude!
Bryce: No one here gives a shit, there's a guy there selling coke.
Me: I will gladly take some.
I said while everyone laughed. Bryce and Alex left which left Monty and I. We talked for awhile before we were ready to leave. When we went outside Winston came to see me.
Winston: It was nice meeting you. We should hang out some time.
Me: Yeah we should.
Monty: What did you say?!
Monty said while pushing Winston. I tried to stop Monty but soon enough Winston was drowning in his own pool of blood. I grabbed Monty and pushed him off.
Me: Jesus, are you okay?
Winston: I've been better.
He said while Bryce and Alex talked to him I went to the car and looked at Monty.
Me: What's your problem?
Monty: Nothing.
Me: Why the fuck did you go after him! He didn't do anything to you!
Monty: He fucking had sex with you!
Me: SO?! I CANT HAVE SEX WITH NO ONE NOW??!!
Monty: NO YOU CANT!!
End of flashback
Clay: Alex lied to us about bruins form Bryce. But you knew!
Me: I did yeah. But he told me he stopped.
Clay: Is there more shit you haven't told me?
Me: No.
That was a lie. I saw Alex and Bryce again. A couple of weeks after the party, we did some coke and we broke into his fathers house only to find out it was the wrong one. We scarred a kid for life because of how fucked up we were. I was about to leave when someone knocked on my window. Monty.
Me: Yes?
Monty: You forgot that I live with you now?
Me: Sorry, my mind has been elsewhere today.
I said while unlocking the door. We drove home and prepared supper before my dad walked in.
Me: hey dad.
Dad: Hey, who's that?
Me: That's my friend, Montgomery.
Monty: Hello Mr. Michael.
Dad: Please call me Paul.
He said laughing before shacking Monty's hand. They both got along very well, and even watched the football game together while I cleaned up. Clay and I's conversation played in my head for awhile before i called Alex. Voicemail.
Me: Please call me back. I need to talk to you, I don't know if I can do this anymore...call me please...love you.