that night - m.de la cruz

You can tell the heart of a man by how he grieves

We all have secrets that we carry with us. And the more we carry, the heavier the load. Though some of us have more practice than others. Tony Padilla was always the master secret keeper. So we should have known he was keeping a big one.
Today was Bryce's funeral. All the football team decided to wear there Jerseys over their tuxes. I decided to not do that since I didn't play with him, but Mrs. Walker asked me to prepare a speech since she knew he and I talked. As I was sitting with the football team, Zach and Chloe I started panicking.
Me: I don't think I can do this.
Zach: Me either.
Monty: You can.
Chloe: It's okay to love the things about him you loved. You can tell whatever truth that you want to.
We smiled at her before taking each other's hand. Monty went to say hi to Bryce's dad.
Charli: How's his dad?
Monty: Good, his mom not so much.
Me: His dad is acting like he's at a wedding, you wouldn't know it's his sons funeral.
Justin: Yeah.
He said while sitting next to Charli. The funeral started, Zach and I got up to go to the stand.
Zach: Bryce was a fierce competitor on the field. He fought for his team. Always. He was loyal, and he was strong. He was the kind of strong that I always wished that I could be. I didn't always agree with Bryce. Or what he did. But I wonder sometimes if all we are is the sum of our actions...in the end. Or if we are more than that.
He kept talking for a little while and tears fell down his face. At the end of his speech he sat down and cried in silence. I got up.
Me: Bryce...was the first person I even knew coming into Evergreen. He's the one that introduced me to the football team and the first one who believed I could be a football player. Because of him, I am who I am today. I didn't always agree with him, but there was a time where I called him my brother. My family. So Bryce, wherever you are...just know that I am my brothers keeper. I'm sorry....and I love you.
I said while feeling all the tears fall down my face. Monty got up and took my arm before bringing me to my seat. He took my hand, and let me cry in silence while Mrs. Walker did her speech. As Mrs. Walker was finishing a bunch of girls got up and started screaming that Bryce was a rapist. That he should burn in hell. Justice for Jessica. Justice for Hannah. Mr. Walker got up and started screaming and telling them to shut up. Mrs. Walker was in shook. It was my decision to get up and gently make Mrs. Walker sit while I talked into the microphone.
Me: What is wrong with you people? Bryce did some horrible thing, but he was a human being. He was a person! He didn't deserve to go like that, I believe people can change. And he tried to change!
There was a silence in the church.
Me: Bryce Walker didn't deserve to die like this. He was a person. He was a brother, a son, a best friend but most importantly he was our family.
All the girls that got up left the church with the police while Mrs. Walker and I went to sit. I helped her because she was still in shook. The funeral ended after a minute of silence for Bryce.
Mrs.Walker: Thank you for defending my son, Oli.
Me: He was a person. You and I knew he was changing.
She looked at me and hugged me for a couple of minutes before leaving with her father and her ex-husband.
...
Me: Jess what the fuck?!
I said entering the movie theatre where she worked. The whole football team were walking behind me, trying to stop me.
Jess: I'm sorry, what did I do?
Me: Your fucking girls crashed the funeral! They put banderoles and everything!
Jess: You know I didn't want that to happen.
Me: He was a fucking human being! He doesn't deserve that!
Jess: Are you standing up for him? After everything? After he raped me?
Me: He tried to change! That's what counts the most!
Me: Stop using that for everything! Just because someone raped you doesn't mean you have all the rights in the world.
Me: yeah it's fucked up but he changed! He fucking changed!
I said getting closer to her.
Me: You and your girls do another stunt like this you're dead.
I said before leaving followed by my teammates. We were so angry we almost wrecked everything in the movie theatre. I sat beside Monty in his truck and literally started bawling my eyes out.
Me: He was a fucking person....I feel so stupid.
Charli: Don't cry Oli.
Me: He raped girls and did horrible things but I still stood up for him...
Monty: Because your heart is pure. You believe people can change.
Me: He raped my friend Monty!
Luke: But you still feel bad for him because you knew him differently. You didn't know the "rapist" everyone else knew.
Me: exactly. I knew him as a fucking good man.
I said crying even more. We drove to my house, all the guys and I drank while talking about some great memories with Bryce. At 10-10:30pm, all the boys left except Monty obviously. When the last guy left, I cooked food for Monty and I.
Monty: Are you okay?
Me: yeah, I have to be.
I said while he hugged me.
Monty: it's hurts.
Me: it fucking hurts.
I said while we kept hugging each other. I don't know why but I feel so safe in his arms even if he has anger issues and whatever. I love him. Like way too much.
I got a call from Tony.
Me: *sniff* hey.
Tony: hey. Are you crying?
Me: yeah, it was Bryces funeral today.
Tony: So I've heard. Are you okay?
Me: yeah I guess. But what's up?
Tony: Umm I told Clay about....
Me: your family? how did he react?
Tony: he thought he needed an explanation.
Me: woah.
Tony: I still told him everything...he said he's always there for me.
Me: Just like I am. I love you Tony.
Tony: I love you too Oli.
And we hung up.