Sacred Madness

XXIV. Crooked

“I won’t allow this hypocrisy,” Mark shouted in a sudden burst of anger as soon as he set foot inside the house where Kris and Nam were currently hiding.

Kris was quick to stand up and walked towards Mark in what can be said as a lousy attempt to ease his fury. “I know, I made a mistake last time and I’m sorry. Please let’s forget about that.”

“If you want forgiveness Kris you should ask it from Gun.” Mark stated.

“I know, I know. I will talk to him before I leave.” Kris replied in an unsure manner. He sounded like he was hesitating and was quick to change the topic. “But what’s more important for now is that I can leave safely.”

Mark shook his head in disbelief. “You’re a shameless, inconsiderate selfish bastard Kris. And you know it’s fucked up when it’s coming from someone like me”

Kris nodded, either out of admittance or just as a stunt to earn back Mark’s trust. Either way, he swallowed his pride for the first time in what felt like forever. “I’m sorry, ok? I know I’m fucked up, you’re fucked up too so shouldn’t we be helping each other out? Shitty people like us should be on the same team Mark.” Kris ruined his apology by adding the last sentence.

Mark took a deep inhale before answering. He needed to mentally prepare himself for what he’s about to say. “I’m tired of this friendship Kris. Take back Nam with you and go figure your own way out of this without dragging me.” Mark stated which earned an inaudible gasp from Kris and left him wide-eyed. Mark was about to leave when Kris quickly stood in front of the door to stop him.

“Listen to me Mark please,” Kris desperately begged. “You can just ignore me all you want, but please do this for Gun.”

Mark’s teeth gritted in exasperation, seemingly stunned by Kris’ endless bullshit. “Really now? You’re using my feelings towards your brother for your own advantage? Haven’t I beat you enough last time? Are you asking for more?”

Kris didn’t bother answering his questions, instead he continued his petty attempt of coercing Mark. “I’m the only person left in Gun’s life. What would you think will happen to him when I’m gone? You can’t find someone who doesn’t want to be found Mark, and you can’t definitely save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. Do you still think you can save Gun from his own self?” Kris finished his heavily manipulative speech with a sly grin playing at the corners of his lips. He finally moved away from the door to allow Mark to leave knowing that he had given him a reason to reconsider. He has come to realize that Gun was Mark’s weakness and the boy left him no choice but to use it against him.

Mark was caught off guard. He didn’t think Kris would stoop this low just to save his own ass. How careless of Mark in allowing Kris to make him taste his own medicine. It was Mark who taught Kris how to manipulate and exploit other people for his own gain. How dare Kris play his own game? “So this is how you wanna do this Kris? Using innocent people like Nam and Gun to salvage your miserable life? Okay, we’ll see about that.” Mark stated before finally leaving.

***

Mark found himself frequenting the local bar four blocks down the street. For more than two weeks, the flashing lights, loud music, and a bottle of beer were the only things that ironically brought comfort to his lonely nights. Mark constantly yearned for a paralyzing substance that can numb the pain, and perhaps, eventually, he will be able to forget the boy with the prettiest pair of brown eyes.

Mark laughed miserably at the fact that soon, he would marry a girl he doesn’t like, which will lead into an inevitable divorce, but that’s just shortly after she gets his money. But what’s more frustrating was letting his best friend use him just because he can’t protect the boy he loves. And what was once a proud self-assured man that he is, was now just a boy with a jumble of insecurities. Mark found it amusing at how his life was now slowly turning into a joke.