Sacred Madness

XXX. Tranquility

"Oh God, you awfully resembles your mom," the old lady suddenly said which made Gun realize that he was actually staring unconsciously at Mark who was sleeping peacefully on the couch. The five hour drive really tire him out that he immediately fell asleep just a few minutes after they finished eating dinner.

Gun didn't respond, he was embarrassed that his grandmother caught him.

"That's how your mom looks at your dad and that's when I knew she was so deep in love," the old lady continued as she smiled at his grandson teasingly.

Gun smiled a bit before looking downcast. "Will she be disappointed?"

"About what?"

"That I’m gay?" He replied, still not meeting her eyes.

"Yes? No," the old lady sighed. "Maybe, I don't really know. Your mother was unwell so we don't know how she's gonna feel about it, but it doesn't matter now, is it?" her voice was reassuring despite her not really knowing the right answer to Gun's question.

"How about you grandma? Are you disappointed?"

The old lady shook her head and smiled at him tenderly. "I'm not. I have no right to say anything about what makes you happy. I think everyone should be allowed to do what makes them happy as long as they're not hurting anyone. Its quite a cliché right? But really, be with someone you love, go where you are wanted."

Gun looked up to her, meeting her gaze for the first time. "Will I end up like my mom?" he asked through his quivering lips.

"Were not sure about that, nobody is. But you know what? I've seen him staring at you, and its the same as what's reflecting in your eyes right now, I can see that you're both in love. But dear I want you to keep this in mind, learn when to let go. No one knows how long a person will love us or how long we'll stay in love and that's the mystery and the tragedy of love." The old lady put both of his hands on Gun's shoulders as she stared at him sincerely, "Just don't waste your life on him just like your mom did."

"If there's someone I’m gonna waste my life with, it will be Mark. Im so sorry grandma," Gun replied staring straight in her eyes.

"I see. You've decided," she nodded her head in understanding. She moved to wrap the boy in her arms as tears of joy fell from her wrinkled eyes. "You've grown up so well Gun, you've grown up so well."

His grandmother's embrace was so tight and reassuring that Gun can still feel her warmth long after him and Mark left her place.

They were finally going back together and Mark couldn't be more happier than that. He actually still couldn't believe that Gun has agreed to live with him. However, there was a sense of fear that slowly crept in Mark's heart. It was this inevitable problem that he has created by choosing Gun over his father.

After a long drive back, Mark pulled up in front of an old house in a seemingly dilapidated neighborhood. It was a small house with a little yard and it looked like it has been abandoned for so many years.

"I'm still finding a new place to stay," he said in a hesitating tone, like he was embarrassed for bringing Gun in such a place.

"But this looks nice and cozy," the older boy replied as he stared at the house in an awe.

"Its old and small?"

"Does it matter now?" Gun uttered in a low, soft voice as he stared at Mark. "You know I'd go anywhere with you." Gun bit his lower lip as a shy smile crept in his face. He didn’t even know where he got the confidence. Maybe talking with his grandmother, gave him the courage to be vocal about his feelings and be true to himself.