T is for Tonks

Chapter 3 - Werewolf Drama

Tonks had ended her shift at 8 am the next morning. Nothing much had happened during her time guarding the door to The Department of Mysteries. The only saving grace being that she now knew a lot more about centaurs than she ever thought was possible. She had just exited via the street entrance of The Ministry and found herself in the center of London, when an owl fluttered exceedingly close to her head and dropped a note into her palm. 

It was a note from her colleague asking her to come into the office and assist with a case. Cursing explosively, she turned on her heel and headed back towards The Ministry. She could hardly tell them she had been working for The Order all night!

It was close to 6pm when Kingsley had come to Tonks's desk and made an excuse for her to leave. By that time, Tonks's hair had turned white blonde and the bags under her eyes made her look like a bloodhound. She still wore yesterday's clothes and likely smelled akin to rotting garbage. She was sure that even caffeine was failing her now and all she could concentrate on was her dank, dark and not overly warm bedroom at Grimmauld place. Tonks and Kingsley apparated to a local park near to the safehouse, and she dragged her feet on the short walk to the front door. Her head was starting to pound.

This was not made any easier by the fact that Mrs Black was wailing like a Banshee, having apparently been disturbed by the guests entering the house for the latest Order meeting. Arthur Weasley, Bill and Sirius were desperately trying to pull the potato sack-like cover over the painting, but it was clearly showing some resistance. "TRAITOR. DISGRACE TO THE FAMILY. FILTH. DISHONOUR." The figure bellowed.

With one final huff, the three men managed to pull the cloth over the painting and Bill conjured chains around the frame to secure it, with a short encantation. "SHOVE IT YOU OLD HAG." Sirius, his cheeks tinged pink with rage, shouted back.

Tonks was stood in the doorway observing the situation, with Kingsley already making his way to the kitchen to avoid the mess. "Oh you're home dear." Sirius said when he noticed Tonks, in a voice that she had come to associate with Molly. The corners of her mouth turning up in a vain response. 

"You look awful." Sirius said with a straight face, Tonks would have punched him if she had the energy.

Tonks followed the Weasley's and Sirius down to the kitchen where the rest of the Order were gathered awaiting her arrival. Once again she was introduced to unfamiliar members of the Order of the Phoenix. Hestia Jones. Elphias Doge. Tonks noticed that Minerva McGonagall had replaced Snape and was sat at the end of the table talking to Remus, who smiled at her as she walked in.

Tonks and Bill also greeted each other like old friends, despite the fact that she had been closer to his brother. Bill always a had a knack of talking Charlie and Tonks out of trouble, when it came to their Professors at school. 

Once everyone was seated at the table, the meeting began and Tonks found herself floating away into her own little world again, unable to stifle her yawns. Her mind floated to Sirius. She had heard in The Daily Prophet that he could transform into a dog through Animagus abilities. She pictured him running through the lawns at Hogwarts without a care in the world. His freedom was short lived and the knowledge of that saddened Tonks.

Her mind drifted off to Remus who, in a way, was almost as restricted as Sirius. Werewolves were not exactly popular dinner guests, and she could tell from the years that were added to his face that lycanthropy had taken its toll on Remus. She imagined them both, the wolf and the dog, tearing up the greenery at the school. They would rough-house with each other but never cause prolonged damage.

"Nymphadora." Kingsley said sternly, causing her a fright. Tonks looked at him across the table, hoping he would repeat himself to spare her the embarrassment of having to ask. "Minerva suggested that yourself and Remus should extract Hermione Granger from her home, and bring her here, to headquarters." He said expectantly.

Tonks coughed. "Yeah, of course." She tried to sit up straight and look like she was paying attention, but failed miserably. Once the conversation had shifted topic, Tonks slumped into her chair again, and dozed off once more.

Molly had made pasta for dinner this time and there was a warm homemade loaf of bread in the center of the table, along with 3 hefty pitchers of Butterbeer. Tonks only picked at her food, ignoring the conversation entirely, hoping for the excuse to go to bed. It was times like this where she missed the company of Mad-Eye, who would have told her blankly. He was straight forward and stern with her, and although he hastened to admit it, he was actually incredibly proud of his protégée. Tonks felt her eyes shut and the fork drop out of her hand.

She wasn't aware of how long she had been asleep for, but the next thing she knew, she was woken up by Sirius, who was kneeling next to her chair. "Dora, come on. You should go to bed." He said, more gently than she had ever heard him speak. He took her by the crook of her elbow and helped her out of her chair.

Embarrassed, Tonks pulled away from his grip and whispered. "I'm fine." Although it didn't sound very convincing. Before she could turn and head up the stairs though, Sirius pulled her into a hug that made her bones melt. He held her tightly as she nestled her face in his neck and shut her eyes. The hug seemed to last a lifetime, and yet Tonks found herself wanting nothing more than to nap on his shoulder. Her cheeks were shamefully red as she curtly said goodnight to the man and made her way up the stairs.

____  

Exhaustion had taken over Tonks completely, as she slipped into bed wearing nothing but a baggy t-shirt with her hair up in a messy bun. But, before she could blow out her candle there was a hesitant knock on the door. Completely expecting Molly to have come to check up on her, Tonks called for her to come in. However, visible shock was shown on her face when a very bashful Remus entered her room instead. 

Quickly, Tonks brought the covers up to her waist. "I'm sorry, I thought you were Molly" she said, feeling shy all of the a sudden.

"No, I'm sorry. I should go." Remus stuttered, turning to the door.

"Please stay." Tonks interrupted, sounding infinitely more desperate than she intended to.

He hesitated again, but Remus stayed, walking a few steps into the room after he had shut the door. "I wanted to talk about what Sirius let slip yesterday afternoon." He said quickly, pulling his collar further up his neck. It was definitely a nervous tick.

"I don't expect you to feel sorry for me. So far, I've done alright dealing with it on my own and that's how i'd like it to stay. Of course, I understand if you think I'm dangerous. Most people do. I can assure you that every full moon, I take wolfsbane potion and I will leave Grimmauld place for a few days." The man before her nervously rambled at her. "I'm practically a stranger to you, so I understand if you don't believe me, and if you have any problems living with someone like me then-"

"Remus stop." She had to do something before he went any further. "I figured it out when I met you the other day." She confessed.

Lupin looked like someone had just stolen a breath from his lungs. "You did?" He began to pace the length of her room.

"I'm not prejudiced. I'm not going to ask you to leave. I don't believe you're dangerous at all-"

This time it was he who interrupted her. "You haven't see me at full transformation. I lose all control. There are times when I don't even recognize Sirius." He was pale and serious, Tonks wished he would stop pacing. It was not helping her sleep deprived brain to concentrate at all.

"Those things don't matter to me." She said quietly.

"Well they should." He stopped dead and look at her plainly in the eyes.

"What about the other members of The Order? Do you think they care about any of that?" Tonks couldn't help but get frustrated at Remus, in her tired state.

"That's different. They don't live with me." He challenged.

"Yes, but not a single person here has treated you differently for being a lycanthrope! What makes you think I would treat you any other way?" Tonks balled her fists up and dug them into her bed sheets. Her annoyance was increasing, even though she knew that it was completely irrational.

Remus sighed and took a step closer to her. "This isn't a personal attack on you. I just thought you might decide you wouldn't want associate yourself with me, if you knew who I truly was." He looked sad, like a dog that had been stood on.

Tonks suddenly felt guilty for snapping at him. "In the street, nobody will look at me. I've been asked to leave bars, and people have refused to serve me in shops before now, because they don't want to be associated with a werewolf. People won't even touch me, they are that scared of me."

Tears brimmed Tonks's eyes, and she blinked furiously hoping they would go away before Remus noticed. Her tiredness and the strain of the past few weeks had caught up with her. When Tonks spoke her voice was heavy and thick.

"I'm sorry that you've been treated that way Remus. I'm not the kind of person who is discriminatory, and the fact that you would assume so is insulting." She swallowed audibly. "I'd like you to know that you can always come to me if you have issues regarding your lyca- ... your condition. But right now, I would like you to leave."

Remus left as awkwardly as he had came into the room, but this time his shoulders were more tense and the lines of his face more prominent. Tonks told herself that this wasn't going to be a profound problem. Maybe they could continue their blossoming friendship at a time when the tension wasn't so thick and suffocating. 

Despite her body's desire to finally rest, Tonks didn't fall asleep straight away, as the dull ache of the previous argument made her heart heavy.

Never in her life had she met anyone who was so unaccustomed to love and friendship that they actively avoided it. Remus was scared of committing to people and she wondered what had gone wrong in his life to make him feel that way. Sirius however, was the polar opposite. He had never had love from his family and so made an effort to chat to everyone and surround himself with people. This often allowed for Remus to go unnoticed. Their dynamic suited each other perfectly.

Rolling over, Tonks buried her face in the pillow. Remus was going to be one of the hardest puzzles to crack. Hopefully, the reward would be satisfactory enough for her time and efforts.