T is for Tonks

Chapter 10 - Searing Blood.

I ended up editing this chapter quite a lot. Previously, Sirius was mad at Tonks for kissing Remus but I decided that it was a rather dramatic response. I thought that he might be a little more concerned about his friend than I originally wrote. H.x

Anxiety. 

Tonks had started to suffer from it when she attended Hogwarts, but of course she hadn't known what it was then. It was just the horrible feeling that she experienced every time she was overly worried about something; The hurricane in her tummy that made her want to eject her lunch. The dizziness that came from the thoughts that whizzed through her mind. Some days she would shake uncontrollably and cry, other days she would be paralyzed and unable to ask for help. Anxiety was a bitch. 

Tonks swore loudly as she stubbed her little toe on the bed frame. She was obsessively pacing the length of her room at Grimmauld place. Her curse echoed off of the empty walls of the ancient building. The silence was a highly inaccurate representation of the chaos that had occurred in the past few hours since Tonks had arrived. 

Remus had come home from his transformation and Sirius, who was concerned about the condition of his best friend, had summoned Molly. Tonks had joined Molly, only to receive an accusatory look from Sirius and have the door to the drawing room shut in her face. She sat on the stairs and awaited Molly's return. Muffled by the door, Tonks could hear Sirius and Molly arguing. 

"We should take him to St Mungo's." Molly sounded stressed. 

"No." Sirius replied firmly. "He heals fast. We can look after him here."

"Sirius, Dear. Look at his arm! He needs a healer." Molly insisted. 

He wasn't backing down. "Remus was very clear that he didn't want a healer. Now I'm sure it's nothing you can't handle."

After almost an hour, Tonks decided to retreat back to her room. It had been a while since she had heard anything more than hushed unintelligible voices through the locked door, but neither Sirius nor Molly had left the room. Tonks thought it best she didn't burst in while they were healing Remus. 

Now that Tonks was alone and confined to her room, anxieties and worries constantly zoomed through her head. She couldn't help but feel like a caged animal. Sirius didn't want her here, that much was clear. Her inherited stubbornness told her to remain at Grimmuald place until she was able to speak to Remus. She would have to get past Sirius first. 

A few days ago, everything had been good. Tonks and Remus were affectionately flirting with each other and Sirius and Tonks were affectionate insulting each other. But she had to go and blow it all by kissing Remus, didn't she? Frustrated, Tonks collapsed onto the bed and screamed into her pillow, feeling fresh tears slip down her cheeks. 

The clock in her room chimed 7 pm, and Tonks decided she could last no longer. After hours of sulking on her bed, she had reached the opinion that she had felt sorry for herself long enough. With a few tricks in her sleeve, she marched down the stairs towards the kitchen, unabashed. When she opened the door to the dimly lit room she saw that Sirius was lounged on his usual chair with an empty, dirty bowl in front of him. He looked up when she entered, but the expression on his face remained a scowl. "Oh, its you." 

Refusing to let the man affect her, she slapped a bottle of Fire Whiskey on the table. Seamlessly, Tonks walked to the pantry and rummaged around, using the turn of her back as an opportunity to swallow her nerves and give herself a mental pep-talk. Re-emerging with a bag of rice, some vegetables and a carton of eggs, she began to prepare a meal for herself. 

Sirius continued. "I mean, what on Merlin's good green Earth possessed you to kiss him?" he spat. 

Tonks spun on her heel and looked Sirius dead in the eye. "You have nothing to do with this Sirius. Stay out of it." She even surprised herself with the raise in her tone and volume.