I watch in wonder
As I try to describe how I felt
Laughing at you all
When someone I thought cared
We laugh together
We laugh the same
Cheesy and corny
Because our jokes are easily fooled or food as they say (no one really says that)
Yes there was a glow
Or an interest
But you were second best this time
Last time you were the world
The sun and moon
Now you are the ocean
Still a big part of our world
So now I watch in wonder
On how I've changed
And now see different
From a glowing gold
To a intense bold challenge
From destiny to new people
I wonder
What has changed me to believe
A deck of cards
That no one sees
Because we are playing our rounds
Just as we speak
We listen to what others have to offer
Yet interested in water
Just as the light brings heat
So does the heart
So does love
Fall apart?
I wonder
what is your deck
Full if ace?
Or kings?
Is it the whole royal family?
I wonder if we play go fish
Is it me who will be the fish
You always fish back in?
Yet I know as though it is a blind food
No one can care for me
Just as I know who you really care for
Even though I know
Every time someone accepts me
It is to use me!
For their own pleasure games
Do I mind?
Feeling the facade of love being givin
Or just I feel love will I stoop so low
Raising the energy
Setting a new bar
Hold my hand
Fake being lose friends kiss my cheek
Just to see
If i'll let you go too far
To Get uncomfortable
Stop talking
That's how it goes for me
So I watch in wonder
Where on earth have I gone
The person I used to be and was
No where left to be seen
Not even in the mirror
Everyone says my Beauty is to behold
Then hold onto it
I only see the monster I've become
And the innocence that plagues me
I used to be pretty on the inside
But what happened?
That made it rot
Because I see only the inside of each, beauty left to be seen
So I see not of what they talk about
I wonder
About what happened
To the people I used to love
Was it them who changed me?
Or without them that made me who I am today?
Now thoughts plague me
Threaten to lose what I have left
To kill a doer of no good
Then kill myself
As the murderer
I wonder
What happened to the glow
I saw for each person I loved
For each heart I sought out
Was it because I gave up?
because now it's easy to find guilt
The solution to every problem
now the problem for every solution to find
Yet no one has found the solution to me
We used to laugh together
We used to smile
In inspiration
In denial
So show me your hand
End the game
I haven't begun
Yet I know I've lost
So I give up
Let the cards show your fortune
The snake in the garden of Eden
That made them betray god
I wonder what happened
When I left away to a new place
Do any of you still talk to each other, yet?
Do you keep in touch?
Whole my skin is set a flames
And I know it's really the demon within me
But is it a demon or a misunderstanding?
I watch in wonder
Because its the only thing left I can do
Besides ruining a life
Or maybe two
Just for trying to find the answers
To a life's never ending question
And the problem it ever got rid of
Gold skin upon those breather-in
Sold into a kin
Was it them who lost there innocence?
Or me?
I wonder....
