Shocked
Reminded
Awkward
Demanding
Different
Voices changed
People change
I saw my step father
For what it seems was only moments ago
After two years
Of a never ending hatred
A pain in my heart throbs
And tears threaten to spill through my eyes
I wish only
That he would leave
And I would never see him again
So I can stop the pain
That he has started
And hate him as I did once before
But I hear his voice
It's grown
Just as his customs
I flinch
As he opens his arms wide
To accept a hug
I was unwilling to give
I sat
Wanting
Waiting
For him to stay
So I can brag
About my fantastic grades
I want to hate him
Yet all I feel is
Pain
Abandonment
I am so shocked
As he said he had presents
Waiting for me
Where he and his tramp lay their heads to sleep
He's a bouncer
And he goes all around the city
Yet he only now visited me
Just to pick up my sister
Because everyone knows
I am meaningless
I am nothing
I used to be a princess
But I'm now just a lost piece of paper
Floating in the wind
I used to be your monkey
But now it's so many formalities
It hurts
As I thought you were my family
Yet now it is as if I am gone
No one really knows
It hurts
It breaks me
All I want is to cry
But I force my will to be strong
And never give in
I am selfish
As a daughter
As a friend
As a family member
And I deserve nothing
I only deserve the harsh cold on my skin
And lay my head in the snow
Letting my body freeze
All of this
I see you
You seem smaller
Maybe it's because I'm taller
You seem stronger
Mayb it's because no one cares
Your hair seems longer
Maybe it's just you moving on
Your voice is different
Maybe it's just the tough times
Now you realize
Because it just like the first time
You were a parent
Only difference
Is you haven't left them
I wish you could understand
Please dear old
Man
Gentleman
I would call you by your nick name
But I won't dare
Our words
Even now break me
No matter how much I want them to mean nothing
I am shocked
As you mention
You notice me
Now
Yet you won't spare a thoughts my way
When it comes down to family
It's awkward
As I see
You finally
Can't ignore me
Too bad I made up my mind
And I want the pain to stop
I want to move so far away
No Internet can reach
So I can never see your face again
And all the memories and pain it brings.
