transcending

chap 10

         It's so dark and cold here. I can hear the sound of water dripping from the ceiling and bouncing off of the floor behind me. I've been screaming for so long that I can't continue. My throat hurts. My voice is raspy. I sigh in defeat. I can't do anything. 

         I sit for what feels like hours, what feels like days. But in reality was probably only thirty minutes. I can feel the skin of my wrists getting rawer by the second as the rope tied around them rubs against it harshly as I try to escape. I feel my fingertips grow warm as the anger seeps through my blood and spreads through my body. I see a faint light coming from behind me. I've never been more happy to be angry. And just as I get excited, the light fades and my hands are cold. Having the power to create and manipulate fire based on your anger levels is both a huge benefit and a huge setback. For one, if I'm incredibly angry, I can attack people or things and I can use the fire to my advantage. But on the other hand, I can't control my anger. And sometimes I set things ablaze when I don't mean to. Or sometimes I need the fire so desperately that my dominant emotion isn't anger. And the fire doesn't come out.

         I take in a deep breath. I need to focus. I think about one of the things that makes me the most angry - Edward. He needs me. His purpose is to destroy the entire universe so that a new one, a better one, can take its place. And my only purpose is to help him. I'm supposed to sacrifice myself so that he can destroy everything and everyone that I love. And let myself die. I can't do anything about it, though. It's my destiny. And if I don't fulfill it, then there will be worse consequences. If The Gifted One doesn't aid The Transcender then they'll be executed and another will be created to take their place. Take my place. But I don't want to help him destroy the universe. As if I even have a choice. The world is so fucked up. I don't even know how many Gifted Ones came before me. I know I'm not the first. So many innocent people had to die because they weren't willing to let everything they love be destroyed.

         I feel the fire course through my veins and I break free from the rope.