I am scared to put myself out there. I am petrified by the idea of allowing someone to see the real me. I am brought to my knees in angst at the idea of opening up to someone only to lose them.
I do not have a good track record of loving people and having them stay, or not hurt me.
I wish my fears were not so crippling. I wish the pain I had gone through had not scarred my mind so badly. I wish I had not lost the people I love. I wish I was not hurt by the people I love. But, most of all, I wish I could forget the pain so that I could love the current people in my life better.
I sometimes pray I could bring back the people I lost. I sometimes pray I could get lost myself.
I do not know who would miss me. I do not wish to know because I think it would make me stay. I just wish I could leave. Go to a place where no-one knows me. A place where I can start afresh. Leave all my pain behind and have a new beginning.
I truly love and appreciate the people who are currently in my life now. However, I wish I could disappear because I can see the strain I cause on them and I also feel the strain they cause me at times.
The gap caused by my depression sometimes feels too wide to bridge.
I feel like running away... But, I won't because there are people here who need me.
-becauzwecan
YOU ARE READING
A Journey of a Troubled Mind. ✔
Non-FictionThis is a little small compilation of writings/poems I do on occasion. They are an expression of my thoughts and feelings at a specific time and point in my life. I am publishing this now because I feel as though I am ready to share a piece of me...
