Holding on Would've Been Selfish

Chapter 5- Diggin Deep

James and I started forming a stronger bond. He was starting to get jealous, but I wasn't. He would try so fucking hard to get me jealous. It just wouldn't work out though. Lynn had told James that if a woman gets jealous over a man, she is crazy for him. Lynn told him that jealousy was love. That shit seemed to have stood in James head. Every single time we would go out, he would try to say some slick shit. Stuff like "ohh damn, she sexy" or "Damn she's beautiful" or purposely break his neck when a girl with a slamming body would walk past us. None of it worked. He was trying too hard and I was unbothered. I reached a point in my life where I was secure as fuck. I knew I was pretty in my own way, my personality is amazing and I'm just a down to earth person. The way I saw it was, it would be his loss if he traded me for any of those women catching his attention. Me not giving a fuck, bothered the shit out of him. James made it known that me not getting jealous got to him on another level. One day we walked into a Guatemalan restaurant and he started the conversation with the one and only intention of getting me to feel some type of way.

James; you see that server over there? She's crazy about me, always has been.

Me; *looks over and laughs* She's kinda pretty. You should go for it.

James; no what the fuck? Why would you tell me that?

Me; well I figured since you mentioned it to me, there must be a little bit of interest. Just tryna help you man.

James; Melissa what the fuck? How is that helping?

Me; *starts laughing* okay. Sorry. Wasn't for you to get mad.

After a while James was scrolling through his Instagram. 

James; damn why are Venezuelan women so sexy?

Me; I know right! I wonder the same. Venezuelan and Colombian women are bomb as fuck.

James; I was talking about a girl I follow on Instagram. Want to see?

Me; yeah, duh!

James; *shows me the picture*

Me; wowww!! She's sexy as fuck. Can you screenshot it and send it to me? I want to make it my screensaver.

James; *unsatisfied* no Melissa. I'm not gonna send you her picture, what the fuck?

Me; now that we're talking about attractive looking people, white men are extremely handsome. Look.

James; *mad* I know damn well you're not about to show me a picture of a white man. I swear, I'll break your phone.

Me; wtf? That's not fair though. How is it that you can express yourself however you want and I can't? You do things that you don't want me doing to you, how does that make any sense?

James; cause what the fuck. I don't want to see a guy you find attractive. That's disrespectful as fuck to me.

Me; okay and you doing it, is not disrespectful? It's whatever.

Moments later, our food was ready to go and James stood up to get it. When we walked out he seemed annoyed.

James; why didn't you come up with me to get the food?

Me; didn't you say that the woman was crazy over you? I was trying to do her a favor. Me being next to you, would've scared her off from saying anything to you.

James; Melissa stop saying stupid shit please.

Me; why are you so mad? What the fuck?

James; you just keep showing me how much you don't care.

Me; how? What the fuck did I do?

James; you didn't come get the food with me, trying to give another woman the chance to hit on me. It's like you're saying that you don't give a fuck about losing me to someone else.