Holding on Would've Been Selfish

Chapter 7- James dreams..

I had returned back to New York a day after the incident at aunt Eva's house. I had to work and also go to school. It was extremely exhausting but it was all worth it. Managing my time with James, family, school and work, was a bit stressing. I wanted to make it work out evenly. Of course, I was spending most of my time with James since I was just starting school. I knew that with school, I would hardly see him. I would mainly see him on the weekends with my family. My mom also warned James about hardly seeing me since I was going to be caught up in school and the schedule was a bit messed up. That worried James. It worried him a lot. He told me that he didn't want us to stop seeing each other. I told him we wouldn't, as long as we both make the effort. It was just going to be temporary and we were going to be able to pull it off.

James started to act strange. He was distancing himself and hardly talking to me. When he would talk to me, he would be extremely cold. James was giving me one word responses, leaving me thinking what the fuck did I do to him?

Me; did I do something?

James; no.

Me; then why are you acting weird with me? I don't get it.

James; Melissa. we have to talk.

Me; you sound serious as hell, is it about our relationship? Is it something bad?

James; it's not about our relationship and it isn't bad. At least, for me it's not.

Me; you're starting to scare me. Like do you not want to be with me anymore?

James; Melissa, it's not that. We'll talk about it in person when we have the chance.

Me; well when will we? I'm not trying to have this pending conversation for too long if you're going to be this cold with me.

James; can you tomorrow?

Me; yeah, I can see you before 3pm because I have class at 4pm.

James; okay, perfect. I'll see you tomorrow then. 

The rest of the night was horrible. James withheld the same cold attitude. I was curious as fuck and worried as to why he was so distant towards me. I was thinking the worst. My thoughts were eating me alive, causing me to fall asleep at 3am.

The following day, I got ready to see James and for my first day of classes. He arrived at penn station at 11;15am. I was actually a bit late because I forgot my student ID home so I had to go back. I got there at 11;30a.m and met up with James on 34th street 8th Avenue. He hugged me and gave me a tap kiss.

James; do you see anything different about me?

Me; are you wearing the Jersey I got you from Chile?

James; yeah. You know everyone keeps complimenting me? They think that I look good in this shirt. My friends said this Jersey was fire. They wanted to buy it off of me.

Me; it does look good on you. You look sexy as fuck honey.

James; *smiling hard as hell* Are you lying to me?

Me; no baby, you look like a snack, mmm.

James; *starts laughing* you do too, all the time.

James; my mom said it makes me look skinny and shapes my arms really well.

Me; yeah it does. Did you show her the rice necklace?

James; yeah. She kept asking me who got it for me. I told her "my girlfriend that she just got back from Chile."

Me; what else did she say?

James; she stood shut and didn't say anything. Well I mean, she was being nosey and I knew where she was going with the conversation so I walked away.