This is a long chapter guys GRAB A SNACK AND YO JUICE AND READ ON MY PEOPLE
Y'all are gonna hate namjoon but .... don't come at me
Namjoon has been making it known he wants to get sexually active with me but I don't even know if everything is still the same I had a miscarriage a few months ago and I'm just recovering from that trauma. I don't know if having sex is something I want to do right now.
"Y/n when are we gonna start having sex?" Namjoon asked me as he sat on the couch watching a Korean drama while cuddled up together.
"I'm... I'm not sure I'm ready?" I admitted finally.
At first it was excuses and excuses because I didn't know how to tell him how I felt.
"It's not like you're a virgin y/n" he said.
Okay what the actual fuck is up with him.
"Why are you trying to have sex with me so bad?" I asked him in a pissed off tone.
"A man has needs" he said in a duh tone.
Okay I know I had a miscarriage and it affected us differently but I'm not a sex toy or an object for pleasure.
"Are you serious right now namjoon? I had a miscarriage a few months ago can't you fucking understand that use you're fucking hand the lotions in the bathroom" I stood up pushing namjoons arms off me from being in a cuddled position.
"If we can't have sex why are we even together?" He said obviously annoyed I'm not horny 24/7.
"If that's why we're even together just so you can use me to your pleasure I'm so out" I grabbed my shoes and put them on.
"Well you know where the door is" he said not getting up from the couch turning his attention back to the TV.
I scoff loud enough for him to hear.
"I cheated on you by the way last night I had sex on the couch while you were in the room" he admitted.
I walked out his apartment not even looking at him as soon as I stepped out the building I cried.
I had a miscarriage, thought I was in love , and got cheated on.
Because of sex.
I hailed a taxi and went home If I needed to go back to old habits then why not?
••• i called over one of my good friends and asked if she wanted to crash a house party down 3 blocks.
My friend Delilah and I were wearing the shortest dresses with heels.
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