Hostage

Certainty

Keenans POV

"I'm not going to ask you why anymore. I don't-" I watched her bite down on her lip and sigh. "Keenan, whatever it is you think you've done, however bad it is,I just....don't care anymore."

How could she say that?

How could she say that if she didn't know about me?

If she didn't know about Andre?

If she didn't know about Gloria and Isabel?

I let a light scoff escape my lips.

"I think that I'm in love with you. " She said slowly, almost choking on her words. "And I get it. I get why you might be reluctant to let me in." Her voice broke. "My mother blackmailed you into this so maybe I'm asking for too much."

I felt a pull in my chest and then another.

This was one of the many reasons why I loved her.

Her desire to always see the good in me.

But then,how could she love me?

Why would she love me?

I let out a shaky breath as I lowered my gaze.

Was it supposed to be this difficult?

"But if I'm not in this alone-" I pursed my lip. His gaze was still on the bed but I could tell he was listening attentively. "Keenan,If you love me,then tell me." She sniffed. "And if I am, then please let me go." I watched her flick her tongue over her lip. "Because that's the only way I can truly get better."

For the last few months since we got married, I'd been so worried about being abandoned, I'd never actually considered the possibility of the decision being mine to make.

I drew in a deep breath and then flicked my tongue over my bottom lip,allowing my gaze to meet hers.

I could tell she was holding her breath.

I could tell that she was scared.

Because if I said I loved her then what?

She would live the rest of her life struggling to always see the best in me,fighting all the questions that were always bound to make their way to her mind. She would live the rest of her life in deafening silence until it tore her apart.

Was it really worth it?

Was my love really worth it?

Was I worth it?

If I said she was all alone,and that I didn't feel the same, what would happen to us?

What would happen to her?

What would happen to me?

To all the love I felt for her?

What if she really was my last shot at happiness? What if after this,after her,it was game over for me?

I wanted to be selfish.

For the first time in a very long time,I wanted to selfishly hold on to something,to selflessly love someone. But I'd known right from the start that Kimberly Hastings did not belong in my world.

I'd known that before I kissed her that night in Bahamas,I'd known that before I touched her,I'd known that before I stupidly took her on the boat.

I opened my mouth and when I spoke,my words were slow and calculated.

"Your life would be so much better without me in it."

She shut her eyes and then exhaled heavily. I watched a drop of tear roll down her cheek as she nodded, raising her hand to clean her tears away.

"Thank you." She breathed as the broke her gaze away to glace down at her hands. Running her hands quickly through the sheets when a tear drop fell on it.

I wanted to believe that I had done the right thing,and that it was all going to be okay. But if I had,why did it feel like I had made a mistake?

Why did it hurt this much?

I cleared my throat,ignoring the ache in my chest.

"I'll bring the car around." I muttered under my breath. I needed to get away.

To get away from the tension in the room.

I stood up and then made for the door. I reached for the door knob and then halted when I heard her sniff.

I should have opened the door and walked out like I intended but I couldn't.

Because suddenly, I wanted to know.

I wanted to know how bad it would be if I decided to be selfish just this once. I wanted to know if we both had to be miserable.

Most importantly, if Kimberly didn't belong in my world, I wondered if there was a possibility that her world could align with mine.

I realized that I didn't want things to end like this.

I didn't want to walk away.

Without second guessing my decision,I whirled around and began to walk towards her. She raised her head to meet my gaze, her mouth partly open.

"Keen-"

My lips were on hers before she could utter another word. My lips moved against hers softly, but firmly.

And when I pulled away,she stared at me with her eyes wide open.

"Why?" She breathed.

"Because I'm sorry. " I swallowed hard. "And because I love you. " I added slowly. She let out a soft breath,her eyes searching mine. "You just deserve so much better than m-" The rest of my words were cut off when her lips found mine. She ran her fingers through my hair, pulling me down so I was sitting on the bed. At that,she picked up pace, tilting her head a little more so she could deepen the kiss.

Fuck me.

Wrapping both hands around her waist,I lifted her lightly and placed her on my legs so she was straddling me.

She pulled away instantly, breathing hard.

"There are patients in the next room." She said, pushing her hair away from her face.

"Let them hear."

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