NOSTALGIA ♕ legacies [2] || on hold.

⤛NINE⤜

"So, have you spoken to Rafael?" Hope asked me as we were in our room, I did have the room to myself but I guess with everything back to normal, it set things back.

"No, I think we're avoiding each other right now. I mean, I'm dating Ethan while this whole time Rafael was my boyfriend but my emotional stability really messed up that night you jumped in causing me to forgot everyone and everyone to forget me so I basically had to start over-," I was rambling and Hope cuts me off.

"Woah, cool down." She says, and I sighed looking at her.

"How could I have done this to myself, once again?" I said, throwing myself back onto my bed.

"This isn't your fault, Mae. If anything it's mine."

"Are you in charge of the chaos that goes on up here?" I said, giving her a look and she shrugs unknowingly making me grown.

"Look, why don't you talk things out with Rafael." She says and I frowned looking at her, she had this weird look on her face making me sit up.

"Okay, what?"

"What?"

"You know what?"

"What? I know what?"

"Now you're stalling." I said, pursing my lips, "Why do you want me to talk to Raf so badly?"

"Because we all want you to make up your mind." Hope says and I gasped before throwing my pillow at her. There was a knock on the door, she throws the pillow back at me making me laugh before opening up the door. I looked to see it was Rafael, making my smile drop as I got up off the bed.

"Hey." He says, looking at Hope with a small smile.

"Hey." She says before clearing her throat, "I'll leave you both to talk." She walks out and he walks in.

"I was actually going to come talk to you." I said, and before I could go on, he stops me.

"Me too, but can I speak first?" Rafael asked and I nodded, "Losing my memory of us made me realise two things. First is that I'm in love with you, and I think I knew that even when I lost it but I don't know why. But I also have feelings for Hope, and I can't do that to Landon or you so I need to step away from this."

"Wait, Raf-,"

"I see you with Ethan, Mae, and you look happy. Happiest with him then I have seen you in the longest time."

"You don't get to speak for me, I know with our memories being lost has caused a rift between us but I didn't know you. I was trying to make sense of myself and the world around me."

"I know and I don't blame you but I am in love with you Mae, I've always known that much but with my new feelings for Hope, I don't know what to do."

"Then where does that leave us?" I asked, gulping. My heart was feeling heavy, I didn't know how to act or feel.

"You be with Ethan Mae, I'm not stopping you, I'm just letting you go." Rafael says and before I could say anything else he leaves. I felt my stomach drop and tears running down my face, I don't know what to do.

I felt like everything around me was closing in and I couldn't breathe anymore. I don't know if it had to do with Rafael and I's conversation or something entirely different. I continued to cry as I stood there, holding my hand to my heart clutching my shirt as I took deep breathes in.

I pay attention to my breathing, the tears still running down my face as I do as I try to calm down my breathing before doing my five step technique.

"Five things I can see, bed, mirror, books, lights, pen. Four things I can touch, hair, pillow, floor, light. Three things I can hear, people, laughing, chanting. Two things I can smell, coconut, vanilla incense. One thing I can taste, coffee." I mumbled to myself, and I felt myself instantly relax.