Day 3, when usually everything goes down. When I lose my control and everything falls apart. When everything turns to shit.
Today was good, healthy I would even say.
For breakfast a piece of bread with a yoghurt and my usual coffee, lunch was a baked sweet potato and for dinner I had 100gram of lamm some rice and salad and after that 5 or so Pringle's and a good handful of sour gummy bears. Yeah and for snack I had some honey melon. Overall a good day.
I didn't dance today but I did a long walk and a little 10 minute jog. I know it's little but my goal is to practice and get better at it.
It was good a good day. It was a healthy one. for a third day I am proud of myself. I think this is called balance. I do not have a lot to talk about. I didn't do anything for my studies. I mean I still have more than a month at least and I am halfway done. Maybe those are excuses but I am also relaxing and staying at my families for a reason. To not worry about much to simply be myself and enjoy the time with them. Well and of course to make my quarantine stay ay pleasant as possible.
I feel like I have to touch upon why I am writing this. I must admit to you that I write a lot. I have many diaries and I use all of them. My recent goal is to not buy any new notebooks until all the ones I have right now are full. I have them in different sizes. Tiny ones really small ones and ones that are the size of a MacBook. They contain my life and are my world. If you read through them you would now everything about me and my past and all of my thoughts and motivations. No one knows how much value those little books actually hold in my life, and I guess that's good.
No to the reason why I am typing this .... So I feel there are many videos and posts how to glow up what to do and so on. But I feel like most never talk about the time in between. What is exactly going through their brains while making their decisions. Maybe this can help not only me but also others.
I haven't really worked out yet. It make me sad and I feel disappointed about what I am doing and why I am not pushing myself more even though I know I could. This is the moment when I also start telling myself you are moving more than you did 6 days ago. You are moving more than you have the past week. You eat healthier and make healthier choices than a month ago. That is also progress and rushing has never ended good. The amount of times I lost a lot of well and than gained everything back and than tried again. Seriously just the same story everyone else has been through. Maybe this time something can change. Maybe this time balance is what I need and what I need to find.
To lose my obsession
To find my heart
To see the beauty
I am
YOU ARE READING
Changing the skin I live in
RandomI'm 19 years old right now. The last 5 years I have been suffering. I couldn't accept myself and live with myself. It was, it is still hard. But I want to change. I want to have clear skin, a body I am proud of and a mindset that doesn't stop me an...
