'5 months, 20 weeks, 150 days let's just say every month has 30 days and 4 weeks. Then multiply it with 24 hours, 1.440 minutes and 86.400 seconds.
Can you imagine how long I've stayed in the hospital? With nothing much to do and no one's even visiting me? That's all I've been through. This is what I've been through.
That makes 3.600 hours, 216.000 minutes and 12.960.000 seconds in 150 days. Don't ask. Calculations are my life. I can explain that later on.
But now, I have this sickness to deal with. I used to be a healthy girl who went through the same teenage life like you guys were. Then something happened.
Believe me, I feel useless now. No one's ever visit me. Not even my mom. It seems like I'm thrown away to a garbage can with nobody to pick and help me out.
I know I'm an accident and I seriously don't wanna talk about it right now but I'll tell you just in case. My mom made out with his boyfriend when she was 17.
Duh! It's pretty obvious coz she's a whore! She got pregnant and all. Although she tried to kill me inside her womb for like a thousand times, she failed.
She hates me now. She really does. And when I knew that I'm an accident, I started to hate her as well. She tried to kill me once when I was a kid by poisoning my food. But someone caught her and it really saved me. How lucky.
She was always home late. All she cares was her boyfriend. I've never had a good relationship with my relatives either. They sound weird to me. And my uncle, he hates me just like my mom hated me.
In conclusion, I got no one to share my life with. It's a mess. No one has ever cared and loved me. All I see was violence. And it made me cry when I see other kids having their parents hugging them.
Why can't I have that? The world is just so unfair. Really unfair. Maybe I'm here to feel the pain. If that's so, just kill me now. I won't have anyone to remember me anyway. They'll all act like I'm nobody to them.
If I could just jump out through the window, it'll be over.'
I thought as I walked near the window.
'Level 15. The almost perfect spot to kill yourself by jumping down and land on the road with cars grinding your head then you die unexpectedly.'
I opened the window, looking down to the road. Cars were there moving rapidly as I expected.
'This'll be easy. Just calm down and take a deep breath. It'll be the last deep breath I could ever did. Cause technically I'm gonna die soon. I mean it.'
I was about to lift my foot up when a nurse came in. She look straight and ran to me, pulling me far from the window. She obviously got the feeling that I was gonna kill myself again. For the 125th time.
"Shit!" I yelled.
She grab both of my arms, gripping it tightly as she tried to make me sit down on the bed.
"Let me go!! Let me go!! Please just let me go!!" I screamed and struggled, getting back to the window.
Another nurse came bringing a syringe filled with some kind of medicine that could calm me down.
'I can't believe they haven't gave up on me after the 125th time 'killing myself' plan.'
It was injected on one of my arm and I felt super dizzy. Then everything goes black. The nurses sighed as they lay me back on the bed.
"The 125th time.. Very well planned, Astrid.. When will you friggin stop this?!" A nurse raised her voice as she shook her head while the other just sighed.
"If only there's someone out there to let her share her life with. I can't believe her mother did this."
'Well, don't even ask how they knew my past. It's like the whole hospital knew it. How? It all happened after the 50th time I attempted to kill myself. Sorry mom but I guess everyone has got to know what have you done to your child.'
"We're not giving up on you, Astrid. Not yet and never." They said, rubbing my back and left.
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Hi guys!
Admin here speaking!
So here's the first chapter. I can't really believe I did this. Hahah I'm so sorry, Astrid. But this is how the story goes. Tbh this is what I feel rn so yeah I just let it flow.
Hope you like this chappie!
"If only there's someone out there to let her share her life with."
Who do you think that someone is? X3
Anyways, have a good day/night wherever you live!
