Off The Ice

Chapter 54

"Alright, what's going on?" I ask as he backs out of the parking space.

"Nothing."

"I can't even see your face clearly and I know you're lying."

"Sutton, don't push me. This is not the time," he nearly growls.

"No, Harry. You don't push me. What was last night and this morning about, huh? What was that about no more lying to me?"

"Jesus, fuck. What is it with you and the damn questions? Do you ever shut up?" he snaps.

Okay. That hurt. We were making such good progress throughout the day I thought we could actually work past this angry and hurtful phase.

I look at his hands, both placed on the steering wheel, and notice that his knuckles are turning extrememly white, despite the red scabs that have taken residence from punching multiple people and things.

The tension in the car is unbearable as he drives across campus back to his dorm room. When he parks he immediately shuts off his car and doesn't wait for me to get out before he storms off towards the entrance of the building. I sigh and get out, mentally and emotionally preparing myself for the fight that's sure to come.

I follow him to his room and surprisingly the door is open, allowing for me to get in. I close the door behind me and his voice immediately fills the room. "What the fuck was that?!"

"I'm sorry, but what did I do?" I place a hand on my chest and lean forward so he knows I'm not going down without a fight.

"What was all of that shit?! Asking them about their relationship as if it's going to help you," he scoffs.

"My bad, I just thought that if I got some advice from people who went through the same thing then maybe we actually have a chance!!" I yell back.

"Wake up, Sutton!!! We're not them and they're not us!! We're not going to get married and live like a normal couple that eventually gets older and has a family and whatever other shit you have planted in your mind!! This is us and this is me!"

"I know! Did I ever say I wanted anything but you? I want you, Harry. All of you. But I don't want what you're doing right now. I don't want all of these stupid and pointless accusations for no freaking reason!"

"No fucking reason?!" he yells, emphasizing his insertion of the vulgar word. "You just admitted that you can't handle this!! You turned to complete strangers for advice!! If that's what you're resorting to then you obviously can't handle this; you can't handle me. Not to mention that we just agreed to your stupid terms this morning to move forward. It's not eight hours later and you already don't trust me to follow through."

"That's not what I was doing and you know it!!" It was actually exactly what I was doing. I needed to gather some useful advice for when he snaps again, just like right now.

"Yes it was, don't deny it," he calls my bluff.

"Okay, so what if it was? We're fighting now, I knew it wouldn't be long until this happened."

"This only fucking happened because you were being a paranoid bitch!! This is your fault!!" That hurt worse than his comment about me shutting up. And he thinks I'm being paranoid? Who is the one of us that has Paranoid Personality Disorder? I don't bring it up though. I already feel bad for thinking it.

I have to hold my ground against him or he will think that I will cave every single time and that he can do whatever he wants and get away with it. "This is not my fault! You and I both know that if it wasn't this, you would have exploded at something else!! You can't control your anger, it's plain and simple!!"