Off The Ice

Chapter 60

"Can we go inside now?" 

"Sure," he says, forehead still resting on mine.

"Come on." I grab his hand and tug him in the direction of the trees that lead back to his house. The only sound between us is our boots sloshing through the snow. 

"Why is the door open?" he asks when we come around the front of the house.

"I was rushing around trying to find you and didn't have time to close it on my way out," I reply as we enter the threshold. 

"So, how badly do your friends hate me now?"

"Oh it's not bad. They only still think you're slightly a major asshole."

"Brilliant. However it is accurate."

"And I already told them that you're coming to the party on Saturday so you have to come now."

"Double brilliant."

"And now I have another favor to ask of you," I say, lightly gripping onto the collar of his black t-shirt and pulling myself towards him.

"And what is that?" he asks, brushing the hair off of my face.

"I think we should go back to Chelsea's. But only if you're okay with that, I don't want to trigger anything else. It's just that they're my best friends and I care about what they think, ya know?"

"Yeah I know. And I don't want to make you fight with them again on my account."

"So is that a yes?"

"Yes, but only few a couple hours, okay?"

"That's all I'm asking," I smile. "Thank you." I got on my tip toes and briefly connect our lips.

"Why is the basement door open?" he asks when we detach.

"I was looking fo ryou and I had to check everywhere," I explain.

"So you think that I was able to go in my basement, close the door after myself, and then place a rug neatly over the closed door that I was under?" he asks, his eyes dancing with amusement.

"Don't make me regret coming after you." He tenses a little. "Sorry. Too far."

"S'okay," he shrugs.

"Am I allowed to push my boundaries right now or...?" I look at the ground, nervous of my question.

"That depends on what you want to say."

"I wanted to ask... What triggered you today? You were already seeming a bit off when you arrived at Chelsea's so I don't think they're what set you off," I say quietly. He breathes in and breathes out heavily and I shake my head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. Forget about it." I walk away from him and go towards the door. He grabs my arm and slowly turns me around to face him.

"Sutton, it's okay. You have the right to ask. You of all people have the right to ask. And I wish I had a straight answer for you, but I don't. Sometimes this shit just happens and I can't control it. But, yet again, you got me out of it. I don't know what you do or how you do it, but you bring me back. You snap me out of it."

"What exactly do I snap you out of?" I ask quietly. I have no idea what that episode just was. 

"Well it's always a mixture of things. That was a mix of my paranoid and antisocial. Sort of. I just hope you never witness one of my anxiety attacks. Personally for me, they're the worst."

"What triggers those?" My voice has spontaneously gone to the volume of a mouse.

"Uh, a bunch of things," he says, running a hand through his hair and breathing out like he's thinking. "Uh, guns obviously or gun noises,"