In our language (TreeBros)

Ch.4

A/N This might suck, its 1 am, I was caught still up, so I had to finish it, it's not too exciting, sorry. Remember, this story WILL have mentions of triggering topics and this is your only warning, not that we touch too heavily on that here. This might be choppy, Sorry, and enjoy? I guess?

also, Kinda long, sorry.

              I've had Connors number saved in my phone, practically  since he gave it to me. I could have just kept it written down, if I'd done that, his contact wouldn't be taunting me so mercilessly. Honestly, I shouldn't feel like I've gotten mixed up in some dictatorship with a bunch of pixels.

 I've never been in a situation where I'd be expected to text someone first, or at all... I never would've thought I needed to. I assumed I'd graduate without ever making a single friend. Yeah, it was lonely, but it was for the best.

Friends

Could we be friends..?

I tapped my fingers against my wall, sighing in frustration, before holding my phone above my face. I want us to be friends.  I'm sitting here thinking about this boy, and our possible friendship but not making any effort to contact him or build any type of relationship. I should be studying, but I can't stop thinking about him. Connor is incredibly hard to stop thinking about. This is kind of sad actually.

I turned on-to my side and glared at the wall.  Walls are lucky, they don't need to socialize., or text, or move, or mess up everything.  Is it weird that I'm a little jealous?  Then again, walls have seen things.. horrible things..they can't even look away from them. I can feel myself shiver at the thought. Okay, maybe not so lucky...I take back my jealousy . I also feel very bad for Jareds walls...they're in no way lucky..could be worse, I suppose. Luck is relative. 

Stop getting off topic Evan! this isn't the time to think about Jareds walls and what they may have or may have not witnessed. 

 I've only ever messaged Jared and my mom. That's also kind of sad actually.. I've been texting them for as long as I've had a phone, I don't remember ever having to go through this type of stress. It's drivings me nuts. I hate starting conversations, I even try to avoid it with Jared, but now I don't have much of a choice, so tell me, communication gods. What on earth should I heckling do?? I still have all these questions and no answers.

   Well, obviously I know what I should do. I should text him. That's exactly what I should do. That's what a normal person would do. That's totally what I'm going to do.

I've never been able to understand how everyone seems to do things so easily, things that I couldn't do even if I spent years trying. It's the reason I so strongly believe that all people were definitely NOT born equal. That's just how things are. Not every character is written to be an important part of the story, some of us are just extras, though, life's not some story. There's no happy endings or heroes who are coming to save you, even if there were, who in their right mind would go out of their way to save me?

Focus, Evan.

 Okay, right it's settled, I'm texting him. He wouldn't have given me his number if he didn't want me to text him, so that's what I'll do.

I let my eyes rest on his contact for a few moments. It's in alphabetical order so his is first, then Jareds, and of course moms. It's stupid, I know, but having someone elses number saved makes me feel like I actually have a life. I'm excited, or at least, I should be excited. Right now I'm more scared than anything else.