In our language (TreeBros)

CH.5

          I explained the whole situation to Jared, I desperately need advice, I don't have the right to be picky about who from. I feel almost entirely overwhelmed. 

He mocked me, as usual. I don't know why I expected any different. 

I mean, it's Jared. 

I should be used to it by now.

I let out a sigh and lent my head against the wall. It'll take a long time for him to stop taunting me about my "self insert fan fiction, with Murphy, of all people".  

      The house is just as silent as it always is. Usually I love when things are quiet, it's comforting, but not this, not now. I don't know what it is about the lack of sound here, but it makes my skin crawl.

I continue starring at my phone. This is the last thing I could've been ready for. Except maybe the apocalypse, that would suck, but it's the last reasonable thing.

I wish mom were home, she'd help me out. 

When I was young, my mother was my best friend. I smiled softly at the memory.  I could speak to her, I'd speak for hours and we'd make up stories about a perfect world, a place where no one could get to us. The sound of her laugh always made me feel safe,

but things are different now. Things have changed. She had to work more, to pay for my medicines, and my sessions. She never smiles like she used to, and her laugh is so forced.

One problem at a time, Evan. 

Jared may be cruel, but he's not evil. Once he calmed down he did actually manage to give me some advice, not good advice, but advice.  'Just talk to him' he said. 'You'll be fine' he said. 

What he didn't say, was how I was supposed to start the friking conversation. I hate being the one to start anything, I never know what to do. I always mess everything up.

Breathe, Evan.

My hands are shaking. 

It's just a stupid text. 

I feel light headed. 

God, get a grip.

" Hello. This is Evan, Evan Hansen? From the computer lab."

There. Simple enough, there's no way I could mess that up. 

Despite what the logical part of my head is saying, I still find myself struggling to hit send. I'm scared, so very scared, of everything and nothing. I really am pathetic. 

I force my finger to press down on the button, and my worry only seemed to increase. 

My thoughts didn't get the chance to spiral, because next thing I know I hear a not so familiar noise.

Connor Murphy 

Connor Murphy just texted me.

Oh my god, Connor Murphy just texted me.

That was fast, like really fast. Is that normal? Mom and Jared don't respond nearly that fast.. Is that a thing most teenagers do ? I've never texted anyone else, so I wouldn't know..