sucker | shameless

chapter eight

𝗘𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗢𝗗𝗘 𝗢𝗡𝗘

I pace back and forth,'' I think we should break up.'' I whisper to the boy. Thomas furrows his eyebrows at me,'' What do you mean?'' I cross my arms and stop right in front of him,'' I can't keep this up, Ian almost caught me at Holly's. I had a fucking panic attack.'' I hold my chest remembering the feeling. He runs his hand thorough his hair which is almost like a bowl cut but cuter, he looks up at me with his hazel eyes.

Someone knocks on the door,'' We're busy!'' I yell back before jumping on my bed,'' Oh Tom!'' I moan out, Thomas looks down trying not to laugh. I sneer out him,'' Help me!'' I whisper. He rolls his eyes and lets out a loud groan. I gesture for him to stop and I listen closely,'' Okay, I think their gone.''

I jump down while he sits back down and I stand in front of him," Are you ready to come out?'' I quickly shake my head,'' Fuck no. I just can't.'' I take in a deep breath,'' I just can't do it anymore.'' He quickly stands up and takes my hand in his,'' Ellis. You need to breath. Come on breath with me.''

I follow his inhales and exhales and my panic slowly leaves. I look up at Thomas and hes gives me a blinding smile that pops out his dimples,'' Are you sure? Im cool with whatever you decide, plus your still making Rachel jealous so.'' I open my mouth to speak but the door busts open and Holly storms in with Lip and Ian trying to stop her.

" Oh shit.'' Tom mumbles, she looks between us before looking at me,'' We need to talk.'' I give her a nod and try not to look at the boys who just heard us having 'sex' but we are fully clothed. I kiss Toms cheek,'' We'll talk tomorrow.'' He nods and starts to walk away giving Holly a little wave.

I sit besides Holly on bed waiting for her to speak first, a couple of minutes go by before her mouth opens,'' Eddie left.'' I sharply inhale and my hands mess with each other,'' Wanna take a walk?'' She finally looks at me and nods, I smile.

" He just left?'' I question, she nods,'' Packed all of his clown shit and left.'' I look at the sidewalk, almost disgusted by the fact that Lip took Ian to get a blow job from Karen. I shudder at the thought,'' Im here for you ya know.'' Holly suddenly stops walking and looks up at me. I stop as well and turn to face her. I watch as she rolls her eyes at me," No you're not.''

I scoff at her,'' What do you mean?'' She look at my hand and points," I just tried to hold your hand and you told me not in public.'' I ball my hands into fists, my nails almost puncturing my skin,'' You knew what you were getting into, I told you I wasn't ready.'' Holly let out a small scoff and shakes her head,'' Yeah Ellis, I knew what I was getting into two fucking years ago. We've been together two years! When are you ever gonna be ready?!''

I quickly look around, fear in my chest, I quickly noticed no one seemed to be close enough to hear her. Holly lets out a bitter laugh,'' See! You're ashamed of me!'' I take a step closer to her,'' Keep your voice down, please. You know it's not you that I'm ashamed of." She crosses her arms," Keep my voice down, really? What is it your so afraid of Ellis. You don't want anyone to know that we've been fucking?'' I look down, shes angry. I want to be angry back, but we both know that this is only my fault.

My pocket vibrates as my phone alarms me of a notification. I pull out the small flip phone. My eyes scan the screen, quickly reading the short message,'' I gotta go.'' I shove the phone back in my pocket and start to jog my way home,'' Your leaving!?'' Holly yells to me, I turn around,'' I'll text you, I promise.''

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN. TROUBLE IN PARADISE! A LIL SHORT BECAUSE I WANTED TO GET IT OUT.