ellis gallagher desperately tries not to take her bipolar disorder seriously so she doesn't have to accept the fact the she'll end up exactly like her low-life mother
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BOOK ONE OF ELEVEN
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start: dec 23...
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My fingers reach for the small flip phone but I force myself to stop, not tonight. I'll do it in the morning. I let out a small sigh and lay back on the couch, Ian lifts his arms and I rest my head on his leg. I close my eyes and let out a small sigh,'' Boyfriend trouble?'' Ian asks lowly. I let out a small snort before nodding,'' Been on the rocks for a little over a week and I don't think its working anymore.''
" You've been together for over 2 years now and your just gonna give up?'' Ian scoffs, I let out a low groan, Ian always knows when to call me out,'' Its more complicated then that.'' I open my eyes,'' What happened to you? Where'd you put my twin? Cause the Ellis I know would never give up, shes a fighter.''
I look up at him,'' Shes tired of fighting.'' I roll over on my side and face the turned off TV. Frank lets a particular loud snore on the floor causing me to flinch,'' Jesus, fuck.'' I close my eyes and rest my hand on my own cheek, like someone is holding me to sleep. I don't know why Im even trying to sleep, my shirt is sticking to my body making me unable to sleep.
I don't wanna lose Holly, shes the only good thing about my fucked up life, the only light in my darkness if I wanna be cliche. But I don't deserve her, she needs somebody who is ready to come out. Oh fuck. I don't think I can do this, fuck fuck fuck! Its as if Ian can sense my panic, he places a hand on my shoulder,'' Bad dream?''
" I'm fine, can't sleep with fat fuck snoring like a whore.'' I grumble, I press my head harder into Ians leg and curl into a ball. The phone buzzes once more and a pit develops in my stomach, it travels up towards my throat before I push it down. Shit.
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The phone buzzes in my my hands, Holly bombards me with text messages and calls. I toss it back on my bed and lay back. I can't even stand to text her, her words echoing in my brain. My brain yells at me to be angry but I can't help but understand. I'm not fully there for her but I've been there for her. She can't just say that, I would never be able to say that to her.
I groan and run my shaky hands through my hair. My hands itch to throw the phone to get it to shut up for 3 seconds. I let out a sigh and lay back on the bed. I pull all my hair out from under my back and place it over my face before covering my ears. I close my eyes, I can still feel the vibrations from the constant messages.
" Can't you take a fucking hint!'' I growl into the empty air. I pull myself into a sit right as Lip storms in,'' Did you know?'' He snarls, the phone finally stops ringing. I stare at Lip confused, what does he think I know,'' What?'' He chuckles and shakes his head at me,'' Him and Kash!'' I stand up and get chest to chest to him.
My nose goes into a sneer,'' You got a problem with him being gay?'' He pushes me back,'' No! I got a problem with the fact hes fucking a married 40 year old!" My shoulders deflate in relieve and let out a sigh,'' Yeah I don't really like it either but hes happy, Lip.'' I rub my face in defeat. Lip huffs, his body shaking in anger.
