this was requested by someone on my "give me ideas" chapter so thank you for the suggestion and sorry if this isn't how you wanted it written but i tried my best lmao
~
Sirius was confused, lost, all of the above. He looked at his friend: Remus with longing eyes. It was his figure, hair, eyes, and those fucking scars that make Sirius go wild. But he hated himself for that, his mother would always remind him that being gay was consider a "sin". Sirius thought he was a sin.
He hated that whenever the boys would change in the common room his eyes wondered towards Remus' bare chest. The way his sweater would ride up his stomach when we raised his arms up to far, god he could watch that for days.
Sirius was walking to Charms when we saw it. Remus pushing a random Hufflepuff boy up against a wall in a darkened hallway. Their heads were turned and hands roamed each others bodies. Sirius felt wrong watching this, so his feet had a mind of their own and went straight to the classroom.
He couldn't look Remus in the eyes when he walked in.
"You're disgusting." Sirius spat out to Remus that sat right besides him.
"What?"
"I saw you and that Hufflepuff, it's gross Lupin." Sirius said like it was obvious.
"What the actual fuck is wrong with you? Remus clenched his fist. The Marauders had been together since they're second year of Hogwarts and Remus was more than shocked to hear those words come out of his friends mouth.
"It's not right." Sirius muttered.
Remus darted out of the classroom when he heard he was able to leave. He ran to his "not so secret" hideout: Gryffindor's Astronomy Tower.
"Moony!" He heard James call. "Sirius is nagging at me to get you down here." Remus stayed put.
"Of course you're up here." James smiled not realizing the tears streaming down the werewolf's face.
"Holy shit Moony are you ok?!"
"No! it's Black's fault," James was shocked to hear Sirius' surname to be said. "Telling me I was disgusting for being.. don't make me say it James." Remus pleaded.
"I'm sure he didn't mean it." James knew exactly what Remus what talking about. He knew how Sirius was raised but he never expected it to turn out like this.
"He did, I know it."
"Talk to him Remus, I know you, he knows you." James held his hand on Remus' shoulder. "Just please keep the werewolf...contained this time." He smiled.
"I'll try."
Remus made his way down the stairs to only be faced with the man himself.
"You suck you know that." Remus told him.
"Remus i'm so sorry." Sirius said. "I don't know who I am or where I am in life right now, I had no right saying the shit I said to you."
"Why." Remus' voice was fragile and soft.
"I was raised were those things were a sin, disrespect." Sirius bit his lip.
"Hey Siri, I want you to know it's not, being who you, deep inside is ok and not in any shape or form a "sin" or being "disrespectful." Remus was close to his friends face. Sirius could particularly hear his breath.
"I'm so sorry." Sirius fell into his friends arms, his knees had given out completely.
"You're a twat." Remus laugh and wiped the tear from Sirius' face.
