Overdue - A Rockstar Romance

Chapter 13 - Elliott

The pulsing lights and music filling the main hall were filtering through to the room where we were getting ready. This wasn't a full performance but the nerves I always had leading up to going on stage were here nonetheless.

I was so used to taking a drink to numb it I had forgotten what this feeling was really like. My stomach clenched, rebelling again the burger I had just eaten as my restless hands tapped out a tune on the arm of the chair the make-up artist had ordered me to sit in.

"Stay still hun." She trilled, lining my eyes with kohl.

I tried to distract myself, my eyes drifting to Kyle first. It was mildly reassuring to see he was as uncomfortable as I was. His knuckles white as he clutched the guitar to his body like it was a life preserver barely keeping him afloat.

Chris was flirting off to my left with a couple of girls. How did he do it? Girl's just seemed to fall head over heels for his exotic good looks. He was the most muscular of us. Tall and athletic, resembling an American basketball player, rather that the skinny emo rocker looks the rest of us had ended up with.

I looked the girls up and down as I waited. I wasn't entirely sure how they had got in or who they were, but one was biting her lip and looking directly at me. I think the lip biting was supposed to be sexy, but it felt so false I couldn't even force a smile in response.

Erik? I twisted in my seat and spotted him near the door. Speaking in a low voice to Victoria. She nodded occasionally and made a note in the little gold notebook she always carried.

Without a drink to distract me I noticed everything. I missed our old pre-show prep. Back before the fame when we huddled together, grinning and saying this was it. This show would be our big break.

That innocent excitement before we knew what the spotlight meant. I would never change our journey but looking back there were things I would have done differently.

I coughed as a cloud of powder hit me squarely in the face, "Enough." I growled, jumping out of my seat to escape the brush coming for me.

The woman pouted, looking me over with a critical eye before sighing as if to say it would do and turning to pack away her kit.

"Thank you." I said through gritted teeth after a pointed glare from Erik.

"You're welcome hun." She shot me a smile and I knew she had forgiven my grouchiness.

"Lads," I called out, "huddle."

I saw the recognition in their eyes at the word and we all moved together, creating a circle that shut the rest of the world out. "Been awhile since we did one of these." Chris grinned, the girls he had been flirting with forgotten in an instant.

"I think we need to bring this back. Not just pre-show huddles but that excitement we had. Playing for the love of music, nothing else." I confessed.

They all nodded in agreement, "Just because we are singing our own songs instead of taking requests in crowded bars doesn't mean we aren't the same artists we were then." Erik added.

"This album is going to be different. This tour, so much better than the last. I'm sorry for all the shit I put you guys through. I know it doesn't change anything, but I promise, this time is about the music no distractions." I offered sincerely.

"No worries man, we've all got our demons." Kyle said. For a moment I looked at him, the haunted look in his eye cutting me deeply.

"We've all got each other's back." Chris broke the silence, clapping Kyle on the back.

"You're up boys." Victoria called out.

I grinned, nerves finally fading to a dull ache. "Let's do this."

We bounced on our heels and then with a whoop of exhilaration ran out. The path to the stage was cordoned off by burly bouncers but the screaming girls were determined. Hands brushed my arms as we ran.

I high fived a few before running up the steps onto the low stage. The spotlight fell on me and I instantly felt the rush of emotion performing gave me. A sense of home settled over me as I realised it was my first time on stage sober in over a year.

"Are you ready Whitmore?" I purred into the microphone.

The girls screaming filled my ears and I grinned. "I can't hear you." Chris called out, leaning round me to get to the microphone.

I pushed him playfully before wrapping my hand round the microphone and pulling it towards me, "Don't cry baby," I sang huskily, "I know he broke your heart again."

I turned the microphone to the crowd, cupping a hand round my ear expectantly.

"And I'm picking up the pieces of my best friend." They roared back.

I glanced at Kyle, his eyes were closed, lost in the music as the guitar solo that followed flowed from him so naturally. I worked the stage with winks and blowing kisses before launching into the chorus. Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered photos were being taken but the energy was palpable, and I couldn't stop long enough to look for them, let alone pose.

Erik's face was dripping sweat but split in two by the widest grin I had seen on him in a while. It was so freeing and magical, like we were sixteen again in the garage we had always practised in.

Chris was on his knees playing dramatically into the crowd, a thong lay across his shoulder and I wondered who had had time to remove and throw it. Or did they bring a spare one in preparation?

Either way it seemed a little weird. He flipped his hair and grinned over his shoulder at me. At least we still had this. At least we still had the music.

We were nearing the end of our set when I remembered that this was a birthday party, "Can we get Willa up here?" I called, my eyes scanning the crowds. The couple of paparazzi pictures weren't really enough for me to be able to identify her in this sea of faces.

Less than a minute later she was strutting up the steps, glass in hand, swaying her hips in a skintight black dress. I could smell the alcohol on her when I leaned in to give her a hug and a pang of longing shot through me.

Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all. "Now how old are you Willa?" I forced myself to carry on.

"Twenty-one." She giggled into the microphone, fluttering her lashes at me.

The crowd cheered like she had announced it was a free bar. In fact, knowing her family and the circles she ran in, it probably was. "Happy birthday Willa, this one is for you." I winked and sprung into the lyrics to Lucky Girl.

We danced as I sang, but my eyes were on her drink rather than her. When the song ended, she beckoned me closer. "How about a little drink back in my room before we have some fun handsome?" she giggled.

Her pupils declared that she was high on something and I tried to move back from her just as she went in for a somewhat sloppy kiss which surprised the hell out of me. I could taste ameretto on her lips and I think I kissed her back to taste it before pulling back.

The crowd were screaming but even the high they usually gave me couldn't cover the wave of guilt and self-loathing that crashed over me.

I needed to get out of here. To get away from the booze fast. I stumbled towards the edge of the stage and a camera flash went off in my face. I was briefly blinded before a hand at my arm caught me. "Let's get out of here." Erik's voice was calm and reassuring as he guided me through the path alongside the crowd.

Back in the room I noticed Chris and Kyle had moved with us. My friends protecting me from myself before I even knew I needed saving.

"Thank you." I whispered, slumping into a seat in relief.