Your Fall

Help

"Y/n?" You hear a loud knock on your door and the voice of Raven following it. "Y/n are you in there? I haven't seen you in class for the past couple of days."

You close your eyes and allow the broken glass to open your skin, feeling the relief ooze out for a second before it fades away.

"It's not like you to miss a whole day of classes. I know things have been tough lately but I've seen your participation dwindle and now you're not even there."

"Y/n, please let me in." You slowly stumble to your feet and look at yourself in the mirror. Your father's ghost eyes stare back at you. A small bruise beneath your left eye nearly yellowed against your skin. You grab four or so pills and dry swallow them before roughly swiping the blood off your arm with your opposite hand.

"Please hun, I just want to make sure you're okay." Your eyes glaze over as you stagger to the couch and grab your sweatshirt.

You lean on the wall and with trembling hands, attempt to turn the door handle to open the door. No luck. Your throat goes dry and you feel the acid slip and drown your eyes. You can't help but punch the wall you're leaning on causing you to stagger slightly and become dizzy from the quick movement.

"Are you okay? Please open the door. I'm here to help."

Don't.

Need.

Help.

Your head turns to clouds as you slide down the wall by the door and stare at your couch blankly. Nothing comes to your mind. No thoughts form. You reach into your pocket and grab another of the oil container's glass fragments and pull up your sleeve. With a shaky hand, you swipe and are rewarded with red.

A clicking sound enters your foggy mind as you take another slice at your arm. Relief there and then gone. The clicking grew louder until you realize the doorknob is jiggling.

You stare at the knob with your mouth slightly open, not finding the energy to care that drool is escaping from between your lips. You subconsciously wipe the blood off with the opposite hand and pull down your sleeve.

The knob continues to jiggle and you hear Raven's distant voice cursing under her breath as the clicking continues. You feel your eyelids become heavy and lean your head against the wall. The movement of the door vibrates down your spine, making your stomach feel sick.

"Hah!" You hear a creak but your eyes are too tired to open to see Raven. "What the fuck!" You feel hands aggressively grab your arms and your clouded mind seems to revel in the pain. "Y/n, what the fuck is going on?"

You feel your body shake, but it no longer feels attached to you.

"Shit shit shit." The hands let you go and you slump heavily against the wall. There's a distant thud moving back and forth around you but the red that flashes in your mind is too distant for it to hurt you now. Your dad's brown eyes. Your mother's smell. Cayen's vacant stare. Too far for their princess to get hurt. Too far.

"Y/n. What's with all the blood on the floor and sink? And why are all your pills spilled on the floor?"

"Shit." The thuds move quickly towards you and you feel your body shaking forcefully against the wall. "Fuck, Y/nn." You hear her voice crack, but it's too far for you to help.

Your skin feels pinched as movement takes your body. You feel weightless for a moment as your torso is pulled from the wall and tugged along the floor. You hear the creak of the door slowly shut but no click to say it made it.

"You are not dying on me, Y/nn." Your hand slides through something thick and gooey on a cold floor.

"Spit it out." Within moments that seem to move too fast for your body to apprehend, your eyes shoot open and your throat stings. You slump back again feeling your eyelids slowly shut. "Come on, you can do it Y/n."

Your eyes shoot open again and this time you see yellow and green shoot from your mouth and into the water-filled toilet. Your nose is filled with chunks and your tongue is too dry to move until you feel something go into your mouth and your throat convulses leading you to spew out more liquids.

~

"Y/n, look at me. Look me in the eyes and answer me." Raven tugs slightly on your shoulders helping you to face in her direction as you lay on the couch. Your arms are stiffly laying next to you, palm facing up. The bandages on them you see are already turning a slight red.

"Did those tattoos help at all?" Your eyes fall to your body. Its form is as stiff as a sheet of metal as you try to feel comfortable in your own skin. You shrug your shoulders. You feel a small pinch on your chin as Raven moves your face to her direction. "Use. Your. Words." Though Raven sounds pissed and she probably is, one moment looking into her eyes and you know she is trying her best not to cry in front of you. You don't deserve her tears. You watch her eyes flicker down to your lips. Her pupils grow wide. "I thought you stopped biting your lip after your parents passed." It was just above a whisper but you heard the crack in her voice.

"The tattoos did. For a bit." Your dry tongue moves lethargically as you choke the words out. It has been a few days since you have heard your voice. It doesn't sound like you.

"Okay," Raven rustles on the uneven table she is sitting on in front of the couch, "how long is a bit because as of tomorrow it has only been three and a half weeks since you've had them." You shrug. Her eyes shoot daggers at you and you bite your lip feeling the already sensitive bruise and skin of the area burn.

"Stop doing that," she leans forward and gently pinches my cheeks together until you cannot hold onto your lip, "how long Y/n?"

"Maybe over a week." Your throat growls as you try your best to answer. "Two weeks top."

"Well, that's something I suppose."