PERSONA ✓

21.

"Do my bidding, Jung Hoseok, and you can get revenge on Persona for all the pain and suffering he caused you."

Standing in front of Namjoon, who was decked out in the Persona outfit, blue hair and all, that sinister voice was all Hoseok could think about.

"Hoseok, stay focused. You can't train if you're daydreaming." Namjoon said it with a joking tone, yet Hoseok nodded and stammered.

"I'm sorry," Hoseok apologized, voice shaking. "I'll focus."

Since Hoseok had woken up from his state of semi mind-control, he'd been different. He used to be cheery, loud, and confident.

Now he was the exact opposite. Quiet, scared, and unsure. Eyes darting around the room so he could avoid eye contact. Constantly twisting the rings on his fingers so much that his skin became red and irritated.

"I was just joking, Hoseok..." Namjoon put his hands up in an 'I surrender' way. "Maybe we should take a break."

He de-transformed, returning back to his civilian clothing and blonde hair. Hoseok did the same, his dark outfit disappearing into jeans and a t-shirt.

"Sorry..." Hoseok said again, though he wasn't even sure what he was apologizing for. Maybe he thought if he said sorry enough, it would fix all the damage he'd done as Shadow.

Namjoon stared at him curiously. Hoseok didn't like the way that Namjoon seemed to understand him with just one look. He seemed to be able to read him like an open book.

"Let's take a walk," said Namjoon.

He opened the doors of their large training room—or, rather, a large spare room in the basement that Jungkook deemed the training room—and headed up the stairs. Hoseok followed him, no questions asked.

Namjoon was the leader of the team, a mentor of sorts, while Hoseok was dead weight, and the mentee.

He had no experience as a hero. Unable to do anything when Namjoon went on missions except stay back and pray, Hoseok knew he was no help.

Jungkook was tech savvy. Taehyung was extremely intelligent. Seokjin was wise, the eldest of all of them all. Jimin held the team together. Everyone turned to Yoongi when they needed a job done, because they knew they could count on him.

And then there was Hoseok.

He'd went on one mission with Namjoon to help take down a gang that was causing trouble. And when he says "help", he means standing there and throwing a few punches, because that was all he really did.

"What's on your mind, Hoseok?"

They were outside now, walking down the sidewalk. It was evening and dark outside. Hoseok walked behind Namjoon, who strolled ahead with large, almost careless strides.

Hoseok swallowed. "What... what do you mean?"

Namjoon spun on his heel to face Hoseok. "I gave you time, Hoseok. To... get used to everything. Breathe a little easier. But you're still suffocated. What's bothering you?"

"I..."

Hoseok twisted the rings on his fingers. They were standing under a street light, the sidewalk and street around them basked in an orange glow. It made Namjoon's blonde, messy hair look orange and gave it a glowing effect, like a halo. Hoseok focused on this as he avoided Namjoon's eyes.

"I should get home..." Hoseok shuffled his feet, avoiding answering. Really, he should be getting home. It was late.

"Hoseok." Namjoon rested his hands on Hoseok's shoulders. Hoseok stopped himself from flinching away. "Tell me what's up."

"It's..." Hoseok swallowed. He shook Namjoon's hands off. "It's just a big... blank space. I can't remember anything... anything I did. Who I hurt... And it almost feels like I did it willingly."

"You were being mind-controlled," Namjoon said gently. "There was nothing you could've done, Hobi."

'Hobi' was a nickname that Jimin used to use when Hoseok tutored him. He didn't say it much any more, but Namjoon started using it whenever he was being genuine with Hoseok, which was practically all the time.

Hoseok opened his mouth to say more, but it was like his throat closed up and was physically stopping him from saying what he wanted to. He couldn't speak anymore— he could only retreat, like the coward he was.

"I have to get home." Hoseok brushed past Namjoon and headed down the street.

"You sure you don't want a ride?" Namjoon called after him.

Hoseok nodded, knowing that Namjoon would see it, before stuffing his hands in his pockets and walking faster.

He was going to be in a lot of trouble.

-

Hoseok closed the door quietly behind him, hoping that the house was empty. Perhaps his aunt and uncle were asleep and he could sneak in, get his chores done, and retreat to his room for the rest of the night.

"What were you doing out this late?"

Hoseok winced and turned around.

"Nothing, Aunt Hyojin..."

"I don't need a worthless kid like you running around out on the streets. As if you don't already give us enough trouble." She scoffed, throwing a rag at him. "Go do the dishes. Dinner leftovers are in the fridge."

Hoseok was used to this. After his parents passed, his father's sister, Hyojin, took Hoseok in.

Not willingly, though. She was his only living relative left. And since Hoseok's father and Hyojin's brother-sister relationship was severed long ago, she didn't want Hoseok around. But keeping a kid who wasn't her own brought in money, like a foster home would. And who didn't like money?

So Hoseok was there to do the dishes, sweep the floor, do the chores. He was used to it now. It hurt a little, but not as much as it did when he first began living here, barely a teenager.

He had a room, a phone, and education. It was all he needed. Once he turned 18, he could move out and no one would be able to stop him.

For now, Hoseok washed the dishes, water splashing onto his face when he angled the spoon the wrong way. He wiped it off with a towel and sighed. The TV from the other room was loud, a news anchor talking about Persona.

Hoseok remembered the words over and over again, like there was a broken record player in his head.

"...you can get revenge on Persona for all the pain and suffering he caused you..."

Namjoon was not the same Persona who ruined his life. Same suit, same hair, same powers, but not the same person. Hoseok knew that. He knew Namjoon was a good person.

Namjoon is a hero, Hoseok thought. And I have a lot to learn from him.

-

the end is a bit confusing with this "not the same Persona" thing but it'll make sense soon