Beauty in Darkness

Chapter Twenty Five

I woke up in a white room. I was strapped to a bed with several needles and tubes coming out of my arms. I struggled against the straps holding me against the bed, but they had no give.

I looked up as some Avox walked into the room with a tray of food. He pressed a button and my bed raised so I was sitting up.

"Where am I?" I asked. My voice was very hoarse so I figured I had been out a while.

The Avox pointed at the tray of food which had the Capitol seal on it. He helped me eat the small bowl of soup he had brought me and as soon as it was taken away, I felt something cold slide into my arm from the tubes and fell asleep once more.

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I was in and out of sleep for days until I finally woke up and there was nothing in my arms. In fact, there was nothing on my arms. No scars or scratches from the arena. Nothing. My skin was as smooth as satin. I felt my cheek that had had the Tracker Jacker stings but it was smoother than silk.

There was an outfit at the foot of my bed. It was the same one I had worn in the arena, only brand new. I knew I had to put it on, but I didn't want to. I wanted to forget it and all that had happened in the Arena. Except for Cason. I vowed to myself that I would never forget him.

As soon as I was dressed, the wall panel slid open and I stepped out into the hall. "There she is!" I turned at Cassie's voice then walked quickly down the hall.

As soon as I was near, Cassie ran over to me, her high heels clicking on the floor, and embraced me in a hug. Her perfume threatened to strangle me again but I didn't want to let go.

"I'm so proud of you darling! You are quite the miracle!" She exclaimed. I looked past her and saw Olivia and Krishna watching me. For the first time, Olivia looked sad. Sad for me.

"Come on. I need to get you ready." Krishna said as she took my arm in hers then led me through the different corridors and to an elevator.

We ride it through the training center and up to the eleventh floor. I looked at the lobby in the two seconds it was in view and remembered how Cason had helped me there. Had saved me there.

Krishna led me to the dining room where my prep team was waiting. They all gave me tight hugs and chattered excitedly about the Games and what a smash they were. They said I was the talk of the Capitol.

I wasn't paying attention though. Food came and went, but it all tasted the same. Like gravel.

I wanted, more than anything, to wake up as someone else. To not have to be me with my memories and my feelings. I wanted it to all go away. To end.

"Here." Krishna handed me my silver cherry blossom ring. The words on the inside sparkled in the lighting.

What are you fighting for?

Then I remembered why I couldn't end it all. Why I couldn't grab a knife and make everything go away. I had a family. I needed them to be okay. We were barely getting by as it is, even with Father working his fingers to the bone and my suicide would only make things worse. That's why I pasted a smile onto my face and followed my prep team as they led me back to my room to get ready.

My prep team helped get everything ready for me including my shower, makeup, nails, and of course, my clothes. I felt like I was traveling in a fog. I just hoped I would wake up soon.

After half an hour, Krishna came back into my room. She had left around the same time I stepped out of the shower.

She was holding a clothing bag and ushered the prep team out the door. They all smiled and waved and blew kisses at me as they left and I pretended to be happily accepting them even though I wanted nothing more than go get them out of my sight as quickly as possible. I never wanted to see a Capitol person again. Good thing I was about to go in front of them all.

"Close your eyes." Krishna said and I did. I felt a dress slide over my head then was helped into a pair of heels.

"And...open." Krishna said as she smoothed out the dress.

I looked in the mirror and smiled. She had dressed me all in blue. I looked over at her and saw that her eyes were misty. I pulled her into a tight hug and she hugged me back just as fiercely.

"I know how much he meant to you." She said, her voice tickling my ear. I was taken aback. I had always thought of the Capitol citizens as selfish people who felt only greed and joy. I never thought of them feeling sorrow or heartbreak or loneliness. I guess even the worst of people can surprise you.

After a few more minutes of touching up my makeup, I was allowed to face the mirror once more. The dress really was beautiful. It was a dark blue with hints of green at the bottom and gradually got lighter the higher on my body it went. Just like the sea. My nails were blue with waves on them. The waves were made of tiny white diamonds.

When I was deemed beautiful by Krishna, she led me out and to the elevator. "Do you feel ready?" She asked me as we mounted the elevator. "As ready as I'll ever be." I answered.