FEAR

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

"Hey baby girl. Did you have fun with Pappy?" I asked her.

"I saw a monkey." Kaylee giggled. I kissed her head and put her down. Then I turned to face the two boys who were standing there quietly.

Alex and Ethan had their mouths hanging open. All I wanted to do was go over to them and push their jaws shut but I stood where I was. I waited until they were ready to say something. Even my family was holding their breath.

"So, um.... You have a kid?" Alex got out first.

"I thought your mom said Kaylee was hers?" Ethan got out second.

"My mom said she had another daughter. She does, I have a sister in college. You and your parents just assumed that Kaylee was hers." I shrugged.

"But you are too young." Alex's brain must have stopped working. He kept looking from me to Kaylee who was now playing with Nate.

"Why don't we go sit in the living room?" My mom offered. She shut the door and helped the boys to the couch. I sat on the other side. I knew I needed to explain everything and hope that all of this didn't get out.

"I had Kaylee two and a half years ago."

"That would have made you fourteen when you got pregnant." Ethan said.

"It was right after my fifteenth birthday. It was my first time and I got Kaylee out of it. I'm not saying it's OK; I wasn't expecting all of this to happen." I said in a small voice.

I looked over to Kaylee who was going through my dad's camera and showing Nate all of her pictures from the day. No, I wasn't expecting to have a kid at fifteen. I didn't want one until I was out of college and had a husband. Looking at Kaylee now, I couldn't imagine my life without her.

"Are you still with her dad?" Alex asked.

"No." I replied. I was the only one to see his sigh of relief. Rolling my eyes, I let all the other questions come. They were all simple things like, "Why did you move?" "How is the custody situation?" What's it like to have to take care of someone else?" They were questions that I got asked a lot. It wasn't easy to have another person to be responsible for when you were still a kid yourself. I was managing though. I wasn't really taking care of her by myself. My family was great support. Mom and dad and even Jack helped out way more than needed. Mom kept saying that I needed to go out and have a life. That was easier said than done of course.

Finally, I got tired of the twenty questions. I picked up Kaylee and headed to my room without a good bye. Mom would deal with them. She was always in control of every situation.

I got Kaylee ready for bed and put her down in the crib. "No." She told me sitting up. "I sleep with mommy." Her little blonde ringlets bounced up and down as she did, holding out her arms for me to pick her up.

"OK baby. But just this once." She gave me her sweetest smile and we both headed to my room.

After I laid Kaylee down in the middle of my bed, I turned on some cartoons and went to change. I never realized how exhausting it was to deal with people. Ignoring everyone was so much easier. It was also lonelier but I wouldn't admit that to my parents. They would look at me and say, "I told you so." Thinking about it now made me want to roll my eyes.

After I got dressed, I stood in the closet door way and stared at the little girl that was all mine. Thinking back to when I first found out I was pregnant was horrid. Some bad things were going on with me and I didn't want to keep her. I begged my mom to let me have an abortion. I thought it would be easier than looking at her face every day. Lucky for me, my mom told me I could just give her up for adoption.