FEAR

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Weeks went by where I still didn't get to talk to Devon. He never replied to my emails even though I sent one every other day. I realized that I had a problem when I figured out I felt the way I did. I had my mom find me a new therapist who I saw twice a week.

Mom and dad let the boys off the hook from watching me twenty-four seven. Mom said that with things being quiet, having the police watching me was good enough for her. She had them follow me to and from my appointments.

At school, I still had to endure all of the babysitting with my brother and best friend but I was getting used to it. I knew that they all loved me and that they enjoyed protecting me. I knew it could be worse for them and I was relieved that they didn't complain too much.

Nate found a girlfriend who he wouldn't let me meet. He wanted to see how things went and they were taking it slow. Jay was excited that we would be going to New York at the end of the week for a little vacation. The week after was Thanksgiving and I was finally going to see my daughter.

Travis and I hung out more often and I tried to make myself like him as more than a friend. He was sweet and charming. He took me out on dates and even paid for everything. We didn't talk much more about how I was feeling. Once he found out that I was seeing a shrink, he felt that he knew why. He was right.

Alex came by the house to see me every other day. I enjoyed his company almost as much as I did with Travis. He tried to talk me into going on a date with him. He claimed that people dated more than one person all the time. I knew he was right but I wasn't at that point in my life yet. I needed to start loving myself before I could add feelings for someone else into the mix.

I was finally feeling a little better about myself and couldn't wait to talk to Devon in person and let him know that I did love him. I still wasn't ready for a relationship but I was trying. I hoped that he would finally understand and still wanted to wait for me like he promised. I just hoped that he didn't fall in love with anyone.

His mom told me that he started dating a girl that I went to school with. Carla was nice enough, not really Devon's type but I tried to be happy for him even though my chest hurt just thinking about it.

We were having dinner with his family and I was hoping that he didn't invite her. It was going to be awkward enough having to see him after so long without speaking, knowing that we were great when he was here.

I had two more days of school left and I left for school with Jay and Nate with a conviction that I was going to make the day a good one. I had an appointment with my therapist after school then Travis was taking me on a date. I was thrilled that things were feeling like normal.

"Oh my gosh, you and Travis look so cute together." Becca gushed in Biology. It was our last class of the day and she was ecstatic that I was talking to her boyfriend's brother. She kept going on about how we should double date. But I wasn't ready for that yet. Travis knew how I felt and made sure that we did quiet things with just the two of us so we wouldn't be bothered. Occasionally we would hang out his house but that didn't happen very often after I got bombarded by Becca about Travis and me dating.

The doctor's office was very sleek and modern at the same time. Dr. Ashton had a huge office with a few plush couches placed around the room. Her dark mahogany desk took up one side of the room. She never sat there when I was with her though. She had said it felt too much like business.

Dr. Ashton wanted to make a connection with me and said it all started with becoming friends. She would have me tell her all about my life starting when I was a little girl. When we got to the part where I was raped, I thought I saw a tear fall down her cheek. She listened patiently to me as I went through all the gory details.