Once Upon A Time ✓

04 | crazy; wake

^ above is Lonely Eyes by Lauv

are y'all proud of me? i freaking updated another long ass chapter just one day after the previous one.

warning though - this one sucks. i'll have to do alot of editing later.

(after editing update: it was a pain in the ass that took days)

× × ×

MY EYES FLEW open as I let out a loud gasp. My fingers grasped the bed sheet tightly as sweat rolled down my forehead. Gabriel Anderson was... suicidal?

His announcement had baffled me. I had thought that dreamland was where everything was perfect, where anxiety, depression and suicides didn't exist.

Another thing; my dream stopped the moment he admitted his internal battle and that never happened before. My dreams usually stopped only when I went to sleep in the dream world.

Basically, sleeping was the portal of transport that allowed me to travel between dreamland and reality, but as I recalled the situation, I started questioning whether there was another portal.

Had Gabriel's imperfection caused the perfect world to crash? To open the portal of transport? Questions revolted around my mind, muddling it.

I twisted my neck to look at my digital alarm clock and groaned a little when I saw the time; 3:12 am.

I squeezed my eyelids together and tried to return to sleep, but it never succumbed. Before I knew it, hours of thrashing around in bed had passed and it was finally seven, the time to get up and go to school.

Watching the alarm intently for the digits 6:59 am to turn to 7:00 am, I upon hearing the shrill ringing of the clock, slapped the off button on the top of it. I dragged my lethargic body out of the comfort of my soft bed with a slight moan, pulling myself in front of the body-length mirror.

A yawn escaped my lips as I stared at myself, once again counting my flaws. It had been a daily routine of mine that developed after I started having those dreams.

Ugly, ugly, ugly, my mind chanted as it picked at every insecurity of mine. You are so ugly!

I snapped out of the mental battle with myself when I heard the loud slam of the front door, a signal that Mum had left the house, which also served as a reminder that I needed to get my butt moving to school.

I rushed about the house as I conducted my daily routine; dress, wash up, eat a piece of bread for breakfast and run to school.

By the time I reached the good old place I'd like to call a prison, I was heaving like crazy. Why, oh why did I decide that running to school would be a good idea when I had so much time to kill?

Right, 'cause I wanted to slim down my fat body and look pretty.

No, I was not anorexic. I just liked maintaining a good body shape so that I would have one less flaw for my mind to prick and prod at.

My face was pale as a ceramic doll and my head felt woozy from the lack of breakfast and the run that followed. I gulped down balls of air and placed a hand on my chest in attempt to calm my thumping heart, making my way to the cafeteria to grab a small snack.