The Spare To The Throne

Chapter 29: Wistful Wishing

He was back.

His hands were dangerously smooth as it caressed me. The same hands that murdered innocent lives. They danced from the roots of my curly hair and trickled down to the hem of my waist. His scent fills my nostrils and I fist the sheets underneath the covers. Dread fills the pit of my stomach as I await his next move. He was unpredictable and his actions fed my anxiety. My eyes are shut but sleep is absent. I lay stiff, not daring to move an inch. His eyes trail me and I could feel it. We stay in silence for what feels like eternity. My heart races at the mere thought of his face. Hatred and grief are swirled into one and it was eating me alive. His footsteps recoil and I listen intently as he leaves the room. His intoxicating smell lingers in the air and I fight the urge to reach in between my mattress for the gun.

Alice comes in shortly after.  The sound of metal and china hitting each other fills the room. I huff as my breathing steadies. Her footsteps are light and dainty. A sound of disapproval leaves her lips, as she picks up yesterday's untouched tray of food. I could almost paint the image of a frown on her face. My breath is shaky, as I force myself to calm down.

She replaces the tray and leaves swiftly, closing the door behind her. The scent of cheese and eggs wafts in the air, but it makes me nauseous.

How can I eat when so much burdened my heart?

"She's not eating." My heart pinches at the sound of Xavier's voice. He says this as a statement, rather than a question. Anger coats his tone.

"Not everyone can force her to do things she doesn't want to do," Alice retorts sharply. "Now I want you to leave her be. She's frail all thanks to you, so leave her be. You hear me?"

A heavy silence fills the halls and I can't help but hold my breath. The sound of heavy footsteps retracting follows after shortly. Astonishment masks my face. It was the first time Xavier didn't respond in a negative manner to someone talking back to him. And it was because of Alice.

A sense of comfort washes over me as I realize he wouldn't come back to me for the rest of the day. But sooner or later the inevitable will come.

....

My body is cold and still underneath the blanket of water in the tub. I hear the chirps of crickets outside, but the sound is distant and almost inaudible underneath the freezing water. I open my eyes and my gaze is blurry. Somewhere in the room, a clock ticks and I know its almost time. The day had passed quicker than I anticipated. It was almost as if the universe wanted me to hurry up and kill Xavier. To get it over with and face whatever punishment that's ahead of me. I sit up in the tub and water cascades down my face and hair in thick heavy drips.

My mouth opens to reel in air as my lungs burn. I feel more awake now than I have throughout the week.

Tick, tock. The sound is loud and clear now and my senses are more alert. The chirps of crickets are amplified and I question if its a result of the bath or my rushing adrenaline.

Reaching for a towel, I wrap myself and step out of the tub. I was beyond numb, yet pain still surged my entire frame. The house is filled with an eerie silence and I have no doubt that Alice and Edwin are asleep.

I had spent the whole day cooped up in my room and I know that Xavier knew I wasn't asleep. I was avoiding him and he hasn't done anything to object that. Making my way over to my drawers, I pull out something to wear, letting the towel fall loosely. I was oblivious to the time Xavier actually went to sleep so I decide it was best to play it safe and wait at an unexpected hour.

Everything feels like its moving so fast but I don't want to question my decisions. My questions would only make me hesitate and that was something I couldn't risk. Walking back over to the bed, I lift the mattress. The silver barrel of the gun gleamed, almost tauntingly. I grab the weighted weapon.