The Spare To The Throne

Chapter 65: Paramour ~ lover

"I want to take you somewhere, amour," Xavier peeks up at the clock on the wall before looking back down at me.

I let out a low groan, finding the thought of leaving his side absolutely unappealing. "Where are we going?" I probe, wondering where he'd like to take me late this afternoon.

"Somewhere..." his voice trails with mystery, leaving the rest of his statement to my imagination to figure out.

My hearts sinks, not because he won't disclose the top secret mystery spot, but because I'm still anxious. Deep down, I'm still fighting the urge to cut and with every passing second that I don't, I feel as though I'm going to lose myself in the worst way possible.

Xavier currently has me engulfed in his arms. His hold is firm, as if afraid I'll break or run off and do what I've confessed I wanted to do most. I bury my face deep into his chest, listening to the rhythmic patterns of his heart beat. I won't lie, he calms me. But every time I get to thinking, especially about Willow and what happened the other day, I just feel tense and restless.

Xavier's fingers dance along my spine, trailing up before moving back down gingerly. Slowly, I'm lulled to the brink of sleep.

"You mean everything to me, Farrah," his voice is so deep and doting, I can listen to it like it's my favorite song. "It's important that you know that,"

I stay silent, trying my best to match his breathing. He skims the edge of my jaw before gracing my cheek. I hum in response. I love it here. He'll never know that though.

"Come," he sits up, carrying me along with him. He climbs off the bed and the moment we detach I feel cold.

Please come back.

Xavier extends his hand out to me and I take it. When I'm off the bed, I crane my neck to meet his fond gaze. "Dress warm," he instructs. I nod my head yes without a word. Mentally, I'm so exhausted it hurts. I've been running replays of Willow's outburst at the hospital over and over, my brain is overheating. Cutting would've been the solution to this problem. Turning, I make to leave the room. Xavier's hold on my hand lingers longer than it should but we finally pull away.

When I open to the door to my room, I find Alice cleaning. She does a double-take at me entering. "Oh my, you startled me dear,"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," I clasp my hands together in sincerity. "How have you been?" I ask, trying to make conversation.

"I've been well darling. It's good to see you're feeling better. Or at least I presume," I take it that she's reminiscing my accident and the times I used to lay in bed immobile, writhing in pain.

I send her a lofty smile. "Still getting there," I chuckle. "Slowly but surely,"

"Well, that's good dear."

I scratch the back of my head, remembering that there's somewhere Xavier's taking me. "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Anything, dear," Alice puts down the fluffed up pillow in her hand. "I need something warm to wear out tonight. Being that your taste is quite impeccable, I'd greatly appreciate your help in finding an outfit,"

"Ooh a date!" Alice exclaims with utter zeal and affirmation.

"Well, I don't think so. Maybe? I dunno," I slump my shoulders oblivious as to what to call me and Xavier's outing tonight.

"Either way, don't worry. I know just what will make you look every inch the chic Frenchwomen," she promises.

"I trust you," I assure. Alice disappears into my closet and just then, my heart sinks to the very pit of my stomach. With steady steps, I trek over to the bed and sit.