The Spare To The Throne

Chapter 43: Words of No Substance

Willow's back. My heart pounds ecstatically as I lean my head on my palm while watching her babble endlessly about her astonishing week-long trip to Greece.

"Farrah, it was perfect," she gushed while scooting closer to me on the couch. She grabs my hand, her eyes bulging with inexorable excitement. "It was more than I actually dreamed of. From the plane to our private resort, Hakeem had everything decked out in beautiful flowers, romantic music, and little love notes." She rushes all at once. An exasperated sigh leaves her lips while I arch a brow.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes!" She blows out a puff of air. "And the most unexpected part of it all was that Hakeem had arranged for us to recite our vows right before the sunset on a Santorini beach," She gives my hand a tight squeeze and I see the reminisce in her eyes. I can't help but smile at this. "Oh, it was everything I could ever want from him. The sign he still cares and as he vowed to me again, I truly felt that. Like all these times of being ignored finally washed away."

Willow's grin is wide.

"I am so happy for you." I say truthfully.

"Thank you," she retorts. "And it all happened so fast. One minute he's supposed to go on a business trip but for some reason it got canceled," she shrugs before narrowing her eyes. "Maybe he lied and just wanted to surprise me." The thought leaves her lips in questioning.

I shrug my shoulders too. "Maybe."

"Oh, this reminds me!" She reaches for her bag on the table. "This is for you," she hands me a long olive colored bottle of wine. "I just couldn't leave the place without bringing you something." She states plainly while placing the bottle in my hand.

The glass is smooth and cool to the touch. I read the label. Santorini Assyrtiko.

"Thank you so much but I can't possibly take this, Willow." I say while shaking my head.

"Yes you can and you will because I'm not taking it back. That right there is one of the most expensive bottles in Greece."

My mouth falls agape as I'm lost for words. She really didn't have to but I'm beyond grateful.

"I want you and Xavier to drink it." Her lips purse in seriousness.

"Thank you," is all I manage to say while embracing her in a hug. We pull apart and I set the drink on the nearby table. Being around her felt so easy. Whether if I'm talking to her or listening to her, I feel normal. And as weird as that sounds, I don't find that feeling around Alice, Edwin, or even Xavier.

"Now tell me, what have you and Xavier been up?" Her brows wiggle and I'm immediately reminded of last night.

His words replay in my head. 'Soon, mon amour. You're not ready yet.'

And he's right. I don't know what came over me in that moment. And I'm glad his senses were at play when mines weren't. But the possibility that 'yet' can turn into now, makes my heart want to implode in the best way possible.

I scold myself at this inner confliction. I'm feeling emotions I want to drain out. Where are these feelings spurring from? I want to clog the hole but I can't.

I'm living in denial if I believe that things will change. That Xavier will change to be exact. I've dreamt so hard that he'll grow tired of me. Hate me and just let me go. Or worst, kill me. But now I know that neither of those things will happen. Last night proved that.

He said he'll change. And he's changing. Accept it.

This is true. But could it be that he's changing me too? Tearing down my walls and barriers of self-preservation. My armor is shattering and I feel it. The realization that he's remolding me hits me like a tidal wave and I feel bitter.