The Spare To The Throne

Chapter 32: An Unworthy King

A feathery-type touch causes me to stir. The airy feel titillates my face and my slumber wears off. Slowly, my eyes peel open and I'm greeted with an awaken Xavier. His face is closer to mine more than ever and my heart feels as if it's jump started. His eyes are bluer than the ocean and it pierces my brown orbs intently. He brings a hand up and tucks the loose curl on my face away. I close my eyes on impulse, only to open them again. Like before he was studying me and I possibly couldn't fathom why. The sun's beam reflects on both our faces, and Xavier's skin glistens. 

"Tell me mon amour," his husky voice is exceptionally deep this morning. 'Mon amour', I thought. Though I don't know what it means, I wanted to revel in the poshness of his voice. "What is it that you desire? Tell me and I'll give it to you." his tone is promising and sincere.

My breath hitches in perplexity. I shake my head, unable to process where he's coming from. Perhaps this was a dream but the gentle touch of his hand on my cheek  felt all too real. 

"I...," my voice trails off softly until I'm speechless. I wonder how long he laid beside me awake. Xavier was truly a sight in the morning. His angelic features are sharper than ever and I refrain from reaching out to touch him. His bed hair is messy yet complimenting at the same time. His lips part slightly and I let out a shaky breath. His body radiates heat to mine and I almost inch in closer. He was luring. And I could practically feel myself walking on egg shells. Our proximity is dangerously close and I place my hands on his expansive chest to move away. To my dismay, my hands meet the bareness of his muscled frame. His skin is electrifying against mine and I gasp, moving back. Xavier is quick, and his hands grab mine in response. He pulls me in close and the frantic pounding beats of my heart make me quiver. A swirl of fear and a foreign yearn wraps itself around my head. What was he doing?

He places my hands back on his burly torso and slightly, my fingers trail his toned muscles. Even now, he reeked of expensive cologne and it engulfed me. He was reeling me in, just as he did when he took me to his cabin. We were both crossing dangerous territory and he was initiating every move. But I know better than to fall for this again. His enticing ways would only lead to destruction and regret. And to top it, I didn't trust him. 

"Xavier-"

"I want you Farrah." his words are buttery smooth as it cuts me off. I'm stunned at his bluntness and rendered speechless. His tone is straightforward and far too candid, lacking any hesitation.

"I want you I'amour," his steely blues pierce me intently. "All of you."

Surely any moment now, I'd wake up and conclude this was a dream gone wrong. But as seconds turned into minutes, it dawns on me that this is no dream. Indeed it was a nightmare, and it was all too real.

Xavier looks lost in my eyes, but his hands never leave mine as he frolics with my fingers aimlessly. 

"You don't have to say anything back. In fact, I don't want you to, not now at least." He was venting. A heavy breath leaves his lips as he buries his head deep into the pillow. It was now quiet and the only thing audible is the melodic singing of the birds outside. 

'I want you.' His voice echoes in my head. 

The truth was unveiled and it was plunging me further into Xavier's never ending imprisonment. My desire for freedom was now nothing but an empty void, never to be filled. Whatever little hope I had left was now trampled to smithereens. My heart wrenches at this thought and before I knew it, my eyes sting with an all too familiar feeling. Reality was wrecking havoc on me and there was nothing I could do about it. 

"Why?" my voice quivers, breaking the silence between us. "Why me?"

For so long, I was hoping that he'll get tired of me and eventually let me go. But the opposite was happening. Everyday felt like treading on eggshells, trying to avoid the inevitable, but I could only do so much. Everything about this was wrong and twisted. We could never belong. We were incompatible. He murders and I care. He fought and I hid. We had nothing in common.